“All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.” IfsWayI CanBigsPurposeRealizingMountainLowsBottomHopelessValleysSlipsHelpless Book:Crash and Burn Source: Crash and Burn
“I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.” IfsYearsGamesFiguresTenDrinkingQuittingYankeesI QuitQuit Drinking Author:Artie Lange
“If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.” IfsTwoBlackMonthsBlack Women Author:Artie Lange
“If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?” IfsUseVoiceMikeTysonGps Author:Artie Lange
“I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.” IfsJokesApologizing Author:Artie Lange
“Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.” IfsWantSaidSometimesSoundSubjectsAgreeIdiotInterviewsOffensiveInsultingMurphy Author:Artie Lange
“I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.” IfsWould BeRunningGuyOne ThingTypeTomorrowGunTablesAwfulClockTonightGamblingCubaNoonType Of GuyRoulette Author:Artie Lange
