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Famous Billy Connolly Quotes
“So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?”
“I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.”
“Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.”
“I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.”
“I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.”
“Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?”
“In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.”