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Brian Regan

Brian Regan Books

Comedian

Brian Regan, born on June 2, 1957, is an American comedian known for his unique humor style and insightful performances. He is renowned for his comedic routines that delve into everyday life, social phenomena, and personal experiences, which have won him a wide fan base.

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“I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like to laugh during difficult circumstances.”

People Persons Difficult Laughing Economy Perspective Circumstances Jokes Everyday Difficult Circumstances

Author:Brian Regan

“I think comedy is a good way to deal with anything. I hear about people in the hospital who are ill, and they use humor to help them through it. I think it's a great remedy for many things.”

People Thinking Way Helping Use Deals Comedy Ill Hospitals Remedy Good Way

Author:Brian Regan

“A formula for comedy is comedy equals tragedy plus time. A difficult or uncomfortable situation takes place, and then you laugh about it later down the road.”

Difficult Situation Laughing Comedy Tragedy Uncomfortable Plus Formulas Down The Road Uncomfortable Situations

Author:Brian Regan

“I try to be careful and put things in perspective. There are people who have challenging lives and work hard physically and mentally. I consider myself a lucky person because I get to go on stage and tell jokes for an hour. If I miss a connection here and there or my room isn't ready now and then? It's not a big deal.”

“Even though I have fond feelings for comedy clubs, I enjoy the focus you get in a theater. Comedy clubs are a different animal. People are being served nachos and there's a blender going off in the background.”

People Different Feelings Enjoy Animal Comedy Focus Theater Clubs Backgrounds Comedy Clubs Different Animals Blenders Nachos

Author:Brian Regan

“The ultimate objective [of comedy] is to get a laugh, so if you can get a laugh off the fact that you did not get a laugh, then you've kinda saved the moment. Other professions don't have that luxury. You don't want to hear a brain surgeon say, "Man, am I so stupid! I cut on the wrong side of your head!!"”

Ifs Men Want Moments Facts Sides Brain Laughing Comedy Cutting Stupid Ultimate Profession Saved Objectives Luxury Surgeons Brain Surgeons

Author:Brian Regan

“Just make sure you're staying true to yourself, and do what you think is good in that craft or field [of yours] and then let everything else fall where it falls.”

Thinking Fall Fields Crafts Staying True To Yourself Stay True Stay True To Yourself

Author:Brian Regan

“Be adaptable, flexible and never stop learning. The rate of change will never stop and neither should you.”

Should Rate Flexible Adaptable Never Stop Learning Rate Of Change

Author:Brian Regan

“Don't let dialog about your company happen without your perspective.”

Happens Company Perspective

Author:Brian Regan

“Superhero power... I probably would just want to fly. I definitely would not want to be able to see through walls. I think walls are there for a reason. People put them up for a reason. You don't want to be looking through them. That would only cause nothing but misery and angst to know what's happening behind people's walls.”

People Thinking Knows Want Reason Able Causes Behinds Wall Happenings Misery Superhero Angst

Author:Brian Regan

“You can poke fun at some pretty difficult circumstances, and it's just a way to pop the bubble. I don't do that thing onstage usually, but offstage sometimes I might.”

Way Sometimes Might Fun Difficult Circumstances Pops Bubbles Poke Difficult Circumstances

Author:Brian Regan

“A lot of the kind of comedy that I do comes out of real human moments. For them to work, they have to be truthful kinds of things that people in the audience can go, "Yes, I've experienced that myself!"”

People Humans Kind Real Moments Audience Comedy Truthful Being Truthful Real Human

Author:Brian Regan

“I'm always excited about my upcoming shows. I love what I do; I feel very lucky to be able to do what I do, and I never get tired of it. Every time I'm backstage before a show and I feel the murmur of the crowd, it's just incredibly exciting. And I consider myself very fortunate to be able to do this for a job. It's a great life.”

Feels Shows Able Jobs Lucky Exciting Tired Crowds Excited Fortunate

Author:Brian Regan

“I wanted to do the comic strip. I tried to get it syndicated, and I sent some examples to a syndication company, and they sent me a rejection letter! I wasn't smart enough at the time to realize you shouldn't let rejection letters stop you. I thought that rejection letter meant I was not allowed to be a cartoonist in this world, so I put the rejection letter down and said, well, I'll be a stand-up comedian.”

World Wells Said Enough Wanted Realizing Company Example This World Smart Letters Down And Comic Comedian Rejection Cartoonist Comic Strips Stand Up Comedian Rejection Letters

Author:Brian Regan

“I don't take jokes from other people. It's really not cool to steal jokes from anybody. It's not cool to steal anything from anybody. Jokes are no different.”

People Different Jokes Stealing

Author:Brian Regan

“Many comedians consider themselves to be cutting edge. But why do we have to use the knife for the analogy. Let's use the spoon. I like to consider myself the big bowl-like area of the spoon that holds all the stuff you like.”

Use Bigs Stuff Cutting Areas Edges Comedian Knives Bowls Analogies Spoons Cutting Edge

Author:Brian Regan

“I don't always see humor in things. Especially when I smash my pinky toe into a coffee table leg in the middle of the night. But sometimes I'll see things, or experience things, that make me go, "Huh, maybe that's a bit."”

Sometimes Night Bits Middle Tables Legs Coffee Toes Middle Of The Night

Author:Brian Regan

“Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if someone talks about donut sprinkles, it's not quite as important. Unless the U.S. Supreme Court makes a decision outlawing donut sprinkles.”

Ifs Want Kind Doe Important Decision Materials Court Supreme Make Sense Relevant Supreme Court Relevance Weird Things Donuts Sprinkles

Author:Brian Regan

“I like to go on stage with a variety, with some stuff that's been around for a handful of years, some stuff from the last year, some stuff is from last week, and some stuff is brand spanking new. Those are the moments that excite me - when I'm coming up to a brand new bit. The more virgin the snow, the more fun it is to run on.”

Years Moments Running Lasts Fun Stuff Bits Week Stage Goes On Snow Brands Variety Last Year Virgins Handful Brand New Spanking

Author:Brian Regan

“It's hard to program a computer to make jokes. The brain needs to do something here; the brain needs to come up with something bizarre to make something funny.”

Needs Hard Brain Computer Jokes Program Come Up Bizarre

Author:Brian Regan

“I'm honored that other comedians like what I do. That means the world to me. But at the same time when I'm on stage I'm not just trying to make the comedians laugh - I'm also trying to make the audience laugh. I want to make everybody laugh.”

World Want Trying Mean Audience Laughing Stage Comedian Honored Mean The World To Me

Author:Brian Regan

“I just tend to think about everyday things for my onstage act. Actually you know what I like to talk about just the absolute most - the more mundane the subject matter, the more interesting it is to me.”

Thinking Knows Matter Interesting Subjects Absolutes Everyday Mundane Subject Matter Everyday Things

Author:Brian Regan

“Some people look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why?' I look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why not?'”

People Looks Asks Why Not Corn

Author:Brian Regan

“Hey, you know who I feel bad for? Arab-Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting.”

Knows Want Feels Hey Crops Hey You

Author:Brian Regan

“I don't know. I'd be a lot better off if I would've studied more when I was growing up, you know?”

Ifs Knows Growing Up Growing Better Off

Author:Brian Regan

“I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.”

Thinking Bottom Size Ice Serving Cream Ice Cream Spoons Containers

Author:Brian Regan

“Politicians have a lot to deal with these days. It's a different world. You know who I feel bad for? Arab Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting. Could be their life long dream, and every time they ask for a pamphlet, all hell breaks loose.”

Knows World Want Feels Long Different Dream Asks Deals Break Hell Politician These Days Long Life Crops Different Worlds

Author:Brian Regan

“I'm capable offstage of having some dark, twisted thoughts but the kind of things I like to do onstage are just more conceptual and I don't even think of them as being clean. I don't sit down and think, "Man, I'm going to come up with some lily-white comedy!" They're just things that I like to talk about, and then at the end of the day you think, "Well, I guess that was clean" but it's not the focus.”

Thinking Men Wells Kind Ends Dark White Comedy Focus Capable Down And Clean Come Up The End Of The Day Twisted Lilies Dark Twisted

Author:Brian Regan

“Every comedian works differently. Some comedians might do just observational stuff and they don't do anything personal, and other people.. everything they do is personal and they don't do any observational stuff at all. There's no right or wrong, it's just that everybody picks their own approach.”

People Might Stuff Approach Picks Comedian

Author:Brian Regan

“I try my jokes onstage. The only way to really find out if something is going to work is to try it on stage, and I try to be careful and bookend something new with a strong bit before and a strong bit afterwards. But it's fun to run on virgin snow. I like that feeling onstage of creating new footprints and not knowing what's going to happen.”

Ifs Way Trying Feelings Happens Running Strong Fun Bits Knowing Stage Creating Jokes Careful Snow Something New Be Careful Not Knowing Virgins Going To Work Footprint Bookends

Author:Brian Regan

“The funnest jokes for me to tell are the ones that are the newest. So I'm just constantly motivated to keep my eyes and ears open and have new stuff.”

Eye Stuff Jokes Ears Motivated New Stuff

Author:Brian Regan

“I try to be careful not to put the cart before the horse. I try not to create comedy for other comedians to like. I want everybody to like it. I want audiences to like it, but I also want comedians to like it. I'm selfish. I want everybody to laugh!”

Want Trying Audience Laughing Comedy Horse Careful Selfish Comedian Be Careful Carts

Author:Brian Regan

“I wasn't expecting to really draw in respected comedians but it's going to happen along the way and I'm truly honored by that.”

Way Happens Draws Comedian Expecting Honored

Author:Brian Regan

“I am happy doing standup so I don't ever want to stop doing it. But I wouldn't mind venturing off and doing other things that are creative.”

Want Mind Creative

Author:Brian Regan

“The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian. I'd need to be able to be a creator. That's what I enjoy - I enjoy coming up with comedy, so it'd be very difficult for me to be sitting in a room and have somebody come in and say, "Here's your script! Learn these lines!" That's not fun. At least not for me.”

Ifs Thinking Way Want Needs Would Be Able Fun Enjoy Difficult Lines Rooms Comedy Television Sitting Scripts Creator Comedian

Author:Brian Regan

“When you're onstage, it's a communication technique when you make people laugh. You're communicating. You're communicating with other human beings and when they laugh you know that you're connecting. Laughing is an honest reaction and it's something that I can trust, and I love that feeling of knowing that I connected.”

People Knows Humans I Can Feelings Human Beings Laughing Knowing Honest Communication Communicate Connected Technique Reactions Connecting Making People Laugh Communicating With Others

Author:Brian Regan

“I like the honesty of standup comedy. People don't fake laugh. If they're truly laughing at you, you know they like you.”

People Ifs Knows Laughing Comedy Honesty Like You Fake

Author:Brian Regan

“As long as I can make that audience one thing, one unit, then I'm okay with it. But, sometimes, the bigger the audience, the weirder it gets.”

Long I Can Sometimes Audience One Thing Okay Bigger Units

Author:Brian Regan

“Sometimes you'll play, like, a large venue - maybe an outdoor venue or something - where it's so big that you can see all of the disinterested people. You see the audience, but then behind the audience you see people eating ice cream, going for a walk.”

People Sometimes Play Bigs Walks Behinds Audience Eating Ice Cream Ice Cream Venues Disinterested Eating Ice Cream

Author:Brian Regan

“The bigger the show, the weirder it is.”

Author:Brian Regan

“Like, I'm trying to make a statement that clean comedy is somehow better or loftier than dirty comedy, and I don't feel that way at all. I just think it's different. It's different. There's rock music, there's jazz music, there's reggae music: All of those forms are different.”

Thinking Way Feels Trying Different Form Comedy Rocks Clean Jazz Statements Dirty Jazz Music Rock Music Reggae Reggae Music

Author:Brian Regan

“Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of the head at 90 miles per hour.”

Funny Sports Hours Comedy Balls Miles Racquetball

Author:Brian Regan

“The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow. Where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a living?" "Well, I don't grow corn. Get up at the crack of noon, make sure there's no corn growing. I'm gonna get up early tomorrow. And not plow. You know, we used to not grow tomatoes-but there's more money in not growing corn."”

Knows Wells Government Funny Used Certain Grows Pay Comedy Growing Tomorrow Checks Get Up Hey Cracks Farmers Wow More Money Corn Noon Tomatoes Live Well Up Early

Author:Brian Regan

“I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"”

Knows Needs Kind Mean I Can Two Funny Guy Know How Saws Comedy Stores Opening All Kinds Lazy Knives Cleaning Closing Sandwiches Jars Peanuts Jelly Peanut Butter Peanut Butter And Jelly

Author:Brian Regan

“I saw this sign posted once, it said, "Blasting Zone Ahead." Wow. Shouldn't that read: "Road Closed?" What do you mean there's a blasting zone? What am I supposed to do? "Hey-uh, you might wanna buckle up. Blasting zone coming up. Yeah. Just saw the sign. Put the helmets on back there! Yeah I think we're- (Pow!)- Oh! We're getting close! (Pow!)- Oh! This is gonna be a bad blasting zone! Remember that last one-we lost Billy?"”

Thinking Mean Said Might Funny Lasts Remember Lost Saws Comedy Yeah Hey Zone Wow Helmet Pow Buckles

Author:Brian Regan

“"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has been called." ... That's what they say - but somehow, by the time it comes out of the speaker, it sounds like, "Everybody up and rush the door! Everybody up and try to squeeze your big fat butts in the small gate door area! Immediately! ... Do whatever you have to do to get on board. This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam!"”

Ifs Trying Has Beens Bigs Funny Lasts Asks Sound Comedy Doors Please Areas Fats Boards Gentleman Gates Cooperation Vietnam Speakers Helicopters Ladies And Gentlemen Please Stay

Author:Brian Regan

“I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge."”

Funny Rooms Comedy Nice Emergencies Emergency Room

Author:Brian Regan

“How come they don't think you can handle a new story out of the blue on the TV news? They gotta make a little lame segue. "Hey, that's a big lotto jackpot! Speaking of lotto, there was a lot o' crime in the city today."”

Thinking Littles Stories Bigs Today Funny Cities Comedy Crime Tvs News Blue Handle Hey Lame Jackpot Tv News

Author:Brian Regan

“I did some writing for that movie. The remake of Planet of the Apes. I didn't write the script. But I wrote some lines that they ended up... not using. ... I wrote one line. I thought it would've been perfect. I don't know if anyone saw the movie. It's the scene where the ape general comes in. And they're trying to decide if they should attack right there, or wait until a little later. And I wrote: "Man these bananas are good!" But they didn't use it. I did all of that research.”

Ifs Knows Men Should Writing Trying Littles Use Funny Waiting Lines Perfect Saws Comedy Planets Scene Research Scripts Apes Bananas Remakes One Line

Author:Brian Regan

“If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of it. ... The connection is obvious. You get off, "Man, that was just like the movie! Only the movie had a storyline and characters, and that was a little more like a roller coaster."”

Ifs Men Littles Character Bigs Funny Comedy Connections Obvious Parks Amusement Roller Coaster Coasters Storyline Obvious Things Amusement Parks

Author:Brian Regan

About the Author

Born: June 2, 1957
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 94

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