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Frankie Boyle Quotes

Comedian

Frankie Boyle is a British comedian, writer, and television presenter known for his satirical and sharp political humor. He is recognized for his unique sense of humor and insightful commentary on social and political issues.

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All Funny Humor Thinking People Ifs Knows Scotland Years America Comedy

Famous Frankie Boyle Quotes

“It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.”

I Can Humor Seems Funny Alive Imagine Missions British Rescue Navy Compounds Seals Hostage Navy Seal

Author:Frankie Boyle

“Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.”

Thinking Knows Humor Funny Weight Brown Strokes Blair

Author:Frankie Boyle

“Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.”

Ifs World Two Whole Humor Bigs Reality Funny Levels Successful Built Scientist Experiments Proton

Author:Frankie Boyle

“For 3 Million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person.”

Giving Persons Hands Millions Holes Satan Scotland Shovels

Author:Frankie Boyle

“Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.”

Thinking Humor Funny America Black White Woods Barack Appeals Voters Black And White Tigers

Author:Frankie Boyle

“Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.”

Men Bigs Senior Pussy

Author:Frankie Boyle

“Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.”

People Political Used Forget Changed Gay Used To Be Political Correctness Correctness

Author:Frankie Boyle

“I want to trace my father, could you suggest a good marker pen?”

Want Father Pens Markers

Author:Frankie Boyle

“I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.”

Kids School Enjoy Dad Gay Bigger My Dad Your Dad

Author:Frankie Boyle

“If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.”

Ifs Needs Humor Funny Cures Harry Potter Teenage Cant Potters Lad Getting Laid Eyesight Broomsticks

Author:Frankie Boyle

“I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.”

Thinking Feels Firsts Mean Made Stills Shows America Fighting Black President Fronts Speech Racism Sorry Glasses Proof Racist Bullets Innate

Author:Frankie Boyle

“It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.”

Mean Ends Use Humor Funny Comedy Skills Starting Athlete Work Out East London Extras Olympics Pistols Gunshots

Author:Frankie Boyle

“They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.”

Giving Humor Funny Deals Boys Comedy Terrorist Offering Virgins Slag

Author:Frankie Boyle

“I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.”

Knows Looks Humor Kids Funny Poor Records Comedy Dad My Dad Financial

Author:Frankie Boyle

“We don't live in a shared reality, we each live in a reality of our own, and causing upset is often the price of trying to reach each other. It's always easier to dismiss other people than to go through the awkward and time consuming process of understanding them. We have given 'taking offense' a social status it doesn't deserve: it's not much more than a way of avoiding difficult conversations.”

“Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!”

Looks Play Humor Funny Racist Alcoholics Scots

Author:Frankie Boyle

“Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.”

Two Negative Scotland Scots Negatives Make

Author:Frankie Boyle

About the Author

Born: August 16, 1972
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 67

Books & Sources

My Shit Life So FarRelated source material

Work! Consume! Die!Related source material

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