“Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.” PeopleFeelsYearsMadeCountryAmericaKillingSoldier Author:Frankie Boyle
“The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher.” PeopleHumorFunnyLossCasesIdentityWorriedRisingScotlandEuroNational IdentityRising Prices Author:Frankie Boyle
“Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.” PeopleHumorFunnyListsCongratulations Author:Frankie Boyle
“I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.” PeopleWorldYearsHumorFunnyLevelsRoomsComedyMinesSevenFootballerScottish Author:Frankie Boyle
“They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!” PeopleHumorFunnyLastsNumbPrematureCondomAnestheticsEjaculationPremature Ejaculation Author:Frankie Boyle
“My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.” PeopleKnowsMenHumorFunnyReadingLaughingDadMy DadTelephonesMake You Laugh Author:Frankie Boyle
“People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.” PeopleThinkingWayHeartHumorFunnyDiesSexHeardDrugPhrasesGood WayHeart Attack Author:Frankie Boyle
“Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?” PeopleDoeHumorFunnyProgramIronicOld PeopleCountdown Author:Frankie Boyle
“Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.” PeopleHumorFunnyCitiesFireWelcomeGlasgow Author:Frankie Boyle
“Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.” PeoplePoliticalUsedForgetChangedGayUsed To BePolitical CorrectnessCorrectness Author:Frankie Boyle
“We don't live in a shared reality, we each live in a reality of our own, and causing upset is often the price of trying to reach each other. It's always easier to dismiss other people than to go through the awkward and time consuming process of understanding them. We have given 'taking offense' a social status it doesn't deserve: it's not much more than a way of avoiding difficult conversations.” PeopleWayTryingRealityGivenSocialProcessDifficultUnderstandingEasierConversationDeserveUpsetAwkwardOffenseAvoidingConsumingTime ConsumingSocial StatusDifficult Conversations Author:Frankie Boyle
