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Famous J.S. Mason Quotes

“After all, what was school for, but to strain your eyes in order to decipher what a doctor had said, which was a question you should especially ask if the prescriptions were from an optometrist that questioned the legitimacy of his teachings.”

School Funny Teaching Humorous Witty Clever Sarcasm Prescriptions Optometrist Optometry

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“The mule took out two small jars, one of a white gooey texture and another of a blueish red liquid that wasn’t purple because the mule had skipped art class when he was younger”

Art School Funny Color Humorous Witty Clever Sarcasm Colors Art School

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“the designer music shop that sold status cymbals.”

Humor Funny Music Humorous Witty Absurd Sarcasm Status Wordplay

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“as he buzzed his wings with excitement, eyeing and eyeyanging the containers more closely, which he always did when looking at anything because he used both the dark and light part of his eyes to see.”

Funny Witty Clever Absurd Sarcasm Deep Eyes Wordplay Ying And Yang Ying Yang

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“He had been thrown into the dungeon after refusing to accept that ‘bridegroom’ was no longer an acceptable term to call a groom. Needless to say, he had been there quite a long time.”

Humor Funny Witty Clever Absurd Sarcasm Dungeons Bride Dungeon Groom

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“as they marched out on their way to band practice to get fitted for new hats to hide foam rollers in, as the athletic director was very against the band members having smooth fascia and demanded they have sore muscles while the football team played.”

Funny Football Humorous Witty Clever Absurd Muscles Sarcasm Athletics Marching Band

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“The hummingbird realized that this was a psychological tightrope that he had to navigate carefully, so he did it sideways because this was the only way he could move when perched”

Humor Funny Psychology Humorous Witty Clever Absurd Sarcasm Birds Hummingbird

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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Quotes: 77

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Books & Sources

A Dragon, A Pig, and a Rabbi Walk into a Bar...and other Rambunctious BitesRelated source material

The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating TreatsRelated source material

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