J.S. Mason Quotes

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Browse famous quotes by J.S. Mason.

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Famous J.S. Mason Quotes

“But before the man could reach the door, there was a knock, like one that happens to precipitate a courtship meeting for two punctuation marks that are going out to dinner and one really doesn’t like the restaurant, but goes anyway because they’re a comma dating.”

Funny Humorous Dating Witty Dinner Clever Absurd Courtship Punctuation Wordplay

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“yet one animal food critic in particular commented that his dish had a certain ‘je ne sais’, but all that was missing was the ‘quoi’.”

Funny Food Humorous Cooking Critics Witty Clever French Intangible Wordplay

Book:The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

Source: The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“It all began when Santa’s helpers demanded Universal Elf Care.”

Funny Health Expectations Witty Clever Christmas Santa Union Elves Wordplay

Book:The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

Source: The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“the designer music shop that sold status cymbals.”

Humor Funny Music Humorous Witty Absurd Sarcasm Status Wordplay

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“one man asked his friend, 'So how is her figure?', to which the reply was, 'Ballpark'.”

Funny Beautiful Beauty Humorous Baseball Witty Attraction Clever Body Image Wordplay

Book:A Dragon, A Pig, and a Rabbi Walk into a Bar...and other Rambunctious Bites

Source: A Dragon, A Pig, and a Rabbi Walk into a Bar...and other Rambunctious Bites

“as he buzzed his wings with excitement, eyeing and eyeyanging the containers more closely, which he always did when looking at anything because he used both the dark and light part of his eyes to see.”

Funny Witty Clever Absurd Sarcasm Deep Eyes Wordplay Ying And Yang Ying Yang

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

Source: The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“The lion forever owed his pride and life to his wife, showing some humility, but we’ve all done things we’re not proud of.”

Marriage Wife Humility Pride Husband Witty Clever Lions Wordplay Lion

Book:The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

Source: The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“Au contraire, and because I said that, that makes me French, unlike the Englishman at a Paris auction house who raised his '3' paddle after a Frenchman yelled, 'I bid you adieu.”

Funny Travel Witty Clever Paris Tourists French English Wordplay Auction

Book:The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

Source: The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“The ibex ran off with her neighbor, after five days, to do some environmental and social reform campaigning in the Mexican mountains hoping to see some casaba melons, as well as houses for sheep, and informed the penguin he would do well.”

Funny Fruit Witty Clever Sheep Mountains Wordplay Houses Melons Ibex

Book:The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

Source: The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

About the Author

Known for: Author
Quotes: 77

Books & Sources

A Dragon, A Pig, and a Rabbi Walk into a Bar...and other Rambunctious BitesRelated source material

The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating TreatsRelated source material

Whisky HernandezRelated source material

The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand DelightsRelated source material

The Stork Ate My Brother...And Other Totally Believable StoriesRelated source material