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Jarod Kintz Quotes

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Famous Jarod Kintz Quotes

“Men make laws to enslave other men, and then men call it FREEDOM. If you want to know about freedom, go watch ducks splashing around in water.”

Men Freedom Swimming Ducks Duck Laws

Book:Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Source: Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“She said she was a fan of Edward Snowden, and I replied, "You know, I'm something of a whistleblower myself. In fact, I'm so advanced it's called a flute. I play elevator music as smooth as a duck swims, and if you enjoy the duration of your ride, you might consider tipping.”

Money Music Absurd Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes

Book:One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production

Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production

“I’m training tuna fish to land travel using slices of tomatoes as wheels. You wouldn't believe how many swimming creatures are jealous of ducks' versatility of movement.”

Jealousy Swim Jealous Swimming Ducks Surreal Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Tuna

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Ducks splash in water like an aqua saxophone swims in jazz. Elevators have space that needs to be filled with anti-silence, and I have a surplus of liquid music you can purchase or lease.”

Water Music Jazz Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Powdered Saxophone Music

Source: Powdered Saxophone Music

“Music is fluid, and my ducks love splashing in it. When I fill my pool full of Vaporwave, they swim like they're dancing.”

Music Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Vaporwave

Book:Powdered Saxophone Music

Source: Powdered Saxophone Music

“Piano ducks swimming make noises like drowning saxophones. I taught them how to Mozart like powdered Michael Phelps on the bottom of a crushed box of cereal.”

Humor Music Absurd Swimming Ducks Duck Saxophone Mozart

Book:I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

“The reason I write music with one note occurring every 24 hours is that slow dancing is a lost art, and I'm trying to bring it back at an almost inaudible pace. Listen like a duck swims or you'll miss the best part of the song.”

Music Absurd Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic to drink. But it's perfect for swimming ducks, and that sound really comes across in the taste later.”

Music Taste Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone Xylophone

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“To help my ducks improve their swimming ability, I remixed Mozart with whale sounds, and I pulse the music through their SplashTub. Snatch your tickets now, because they’re laced with catnip and going fast.”

Music Absurd Swim Swimming Ducks Surreal Duck Duck Quote Mozart

Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Most ducks have legs like orange spatulas. Those must be lazy swimmers. Mine have thighs like Michael Phelps in the summer of 2008.”

Swimming Ducks Olympics Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Swimmer

Book:Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world

Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world

“A pool table is a dining room table, if you wait fifteen minutes after eating to go swimming on it. That's what I tell my ducklings, whom I'm coaching to qualify for The Olympics.”

Coaching Swim Swimming Pool Ducks Olympics Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Pool Table

Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“When you first see a Pekin duck waddling across the grass, wobbly and lopsided, you might think it's the most unathletic animal in the world. But if you then watch it swim, you'd realize if there were a Bird Olympics, it wouldn't take gold, but it isn't Eric Moussambani, either.”

Swim Swimming Ducks Olympics Athletic Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“When swimming 50 yards, I mowed one of them, and that’s why I never finished the race. If I'd have kept going, I probably could have made The Olympics, but now all I've got to show for my time in the water is 25 ducklings.”

Swim Swimming Ducks Olympics Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes

Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“The felt on my pool table is blue, so it looks like a pool. I like to shoot billiards with my duck sitting on the table, because swimming is better with no possibility of drowning.”

Swim Swimming Pool Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Billiards Pool Table

Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Have you ever tried Zap Soup? There's just three ingredients: You, a pool, and lightning.”

Humor Swimming Pool Lightning Soup Lightning Strike

Book:Powdered Saxophone Music

Source: Powdered Saxophone Music

“Ducks are melodic, not melodramatic. That, plus the gift of aquatic aviation, makes them the ideal soup ingredient.”

Aviation Melody Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Melodramatic Melodic

Book:Powdered Saxophone Music

Source: Powdered Saxophone Music

“I play mini-golf like I shoot pool like I swim in it. That's also how I play the trombone, which is why it makes trumpet noises. For a saxophone-free duck quacking experience, try adding more water.”

Swim Swimming Pool Ducks Weird Surreal Duck Saxophone Trumpet Mini Golf

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“When I dive in water, my body is streamlined like the fuselage of a jet, and then I glide effortlessly like a dolphin swims. In that moment, I am a featherless duck.”

Water Swim Swimming Ducks Jet Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Dolphin

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Time is fluid, like water. Swim in it like a duck.”

Time Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes

Book:A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“Water doesn’t shape like clay when you move it with your hands. I've spent a lot of time swimming, and none of my motion art stayed in place. All my aqua sculpting rippled into the future, never to be seen again.”

Art Time Water Future Swim Swimming Clay Sculpting

Book:The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

Source: The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Time flies, it's true. But what kind of wings does it have, butterfly wings, bat wings, or eagle wings? None. It has the wings of a duck, which is why I'm surprised nobody in history has noticed that time also swims.”

Time Swimming Ducks Butterfly Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Time Flies Eagle Bat

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“My ducks swim like they are water dancing. They do this because I play the saxophone like it's liquid music.”

Music Dancing Dance Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Powdered Saxophone Music

Source: Powdered Saxophone Music