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Jarod Kintz Quotes

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Famous Jarod Kintz Quotes

“Dust off your dancing shoes, the ones with wheels attached, because I’ve got banjo sounds FOR SALE. I’ve got boxes and boxes of the stuff labeled “Sexy," and to be sure nobody steals them, they are rubber and waterproof and I store them all on the bottom of my duck pond.”

MusicDancingAbsurdDucksDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesRoller SkatingBanjoRoller Skates
Book:One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
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“How to choose an orchard plant from the nursery: Bring a stereo, play some Mozart, and whichever one dances the liveliest, that's the one you take back home to meet your ducks. You could play Beethoven, but he was deaf, so his music is a little too Helen Kelleresque for my taste.”

MusicDancingAbsurdDucksDuckDuck QuotePlantsDuck QuotesOrchardMozart
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was an absolute lunatic, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.”

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Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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“I bought an aquarium for my ducks, because that's kind of how I dance. Lessons start at $19.83 and move on up to 1984 in a Boogaloo Orwell mix. There was too much electricity, so I had to unplug my moves from The Matrix. (Kneepads not included.)”

DancingDanceAbsurdDucksSurrealDuckDuck QuotesAquarium
Book:One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
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“I'm wearing my Midnight Black Dancing Shoes. They are shaped like vintage locomotives, and I move like the memory of Branson in 1991—which fluctuates by minutes every day, just like the scene at my duck farm.”

DancingDanceAbsurdDucksSurrealDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesBransonBransom Missouri
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“I dance like a dead man rolling out of a coffin, and that's also how Campbell's tastes. But if you fill up a thermos with my Duck Soup, it might help you win the marathon at the next Olympics. I'd like to sponsor your performance.”

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Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
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“The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was a lunatic, like a duck running a marathon, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.”

DancingDanceDucksDuckDuck QuoteDentistDuck Marathon
Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
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