“The old saying is true: You are who you associate with. That makes me 72 ducks.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“I got a call last week from Harvard. They want me to come to Boston to teach Nonsense 101. I told them I'm 72 ducks, and they don't have a pool big enough to afford me.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“If I give my all to becoming wealthy, and take no thought to being charitable, all I’ll wind up with in the end is the wind. I'd rather be The Dandelion of Love, and trade a present for one for a future for more than a few. That's why I started duck farming.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I live in a different time zone than you, which means I am a Man of The Future, and I can tell you strange and wonderful things. (Ask me about The Council of Ducks of 2244.) But don’t query me for winning lottery ticket numbers, because you don’t really want to meet all your extended family, do you?”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Some men find religion, and other men find wealth and have no use for God. But can a pile of gold save you from starvation? Shop BearPaw Duck Farm for the highest famine prices since 1933.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“If you asked what my favorite music is, I'd say the kind you'd hear while shopping for groceries on a Tuesday afternoon. That's just the kind of romantic I am. But when working around my ducks, I'm all business, like smooth jazz in a crowded elevator.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“The pizza at Brick Oven tastes like that classic line from that famous murder mystery movie “Rambo,” where Nicholas Cage rips off his tuxedo and says, “I may be a lot of things, but I ain’t no bowl of duck soup, sloshing around in a hurricane." Rambo II is even more romantic.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“How much saxophone does it take to play the blues? I’m asking because I’m trying to fill up my pool using only blues, due to the fact that my ducks will only swim in sad jazz.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“People always reveal who they really are. It may take the removal of 33 masks to get there, but they always show themselves. That's why I prefer hanging out with ducks.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“People are all the same. We all think we are unique. That's what I like about ducks. They don't think about themselves. They think about things like: How can we save humans from killing themselves? Of course, they have the solution, but they just refuse to share it with us.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Rob Thomas has two first names for a first and last name, and his name spells out a short sentence: Rob Thomas. Rob Thomas of what, his doubt? That Biblical ambiguity is what inspired me to name three of my ducks after him: Rob, Thomas, and Rob Thomas.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“You don't need a vacation. You just need to dig a pond on your land and buy some ducks, and then you can enjoy moments of escapism without ever leaving your property.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Never criticize someone's quality of work on a job you wouldn't want to get asked to improve upon. If you don't know what I mean, just watch me shovel duck poop out of their pen and see how quickly you stay quiet.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“When I put off a task until the last minute, I'm not procrastinating—I'm exercising great patience. I learned that from my ducks, who do nothing all day, but still manage to accomplish everything they are supposed to do.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“I want to work in a store that sells axes and saxophones, and that’s all. I want to be the guy who repairs used birds—particularly ducks.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“Ducks are born to swim. Fears are born to drown. Sometimes, you just need to help them remember.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Daisies are the Pekin ducks of flowers. They radiate joy like they are tiny shining suns.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Some of the best gifts are ones the recipient doesn’t even know you’ve given, so they don’t ever feel beholden, and they never know how valuable it was or how much it helped them, which means they never feel obligated to repay you. I do that for my ducks all the time.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I haven't changed since starting BearPaw Duck Farm. I still like my relationships like I like my eggs: Over easy.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Duck farming has taught me that my day-to-day thinking changes in a gradient that's subtle and unnoticeable when observed in 24-hour blocks, but becomes obvious when seen in longer time frames. In the past two years I've changed from pink to blue, but it was all purple to me.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Just because someone likes to laugh, doesn't mean they have a good sense of humor. They could giggle every time they hear a fart, and for them hanging around a public bathroom would be like being in a comedy club. I should sell that person tickets to watch my ducks perform.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Have you ever noticed that neither cats nor dogs ever laugh? I used to think I was doing something wrong, that maybe I needed to start telling better jokes. But no, all I needed to do was get a different audience. That's when I discovered ducks.”
Source: Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.
“Holding a Pekin duckling is like hand cuddling a ball of sunshine. It's a power-charging station for the heart.”
Source: Powdered Saxophone Music
“Music anchors us to a time and place, rooted with feelings, and is invisible liquid nostalgia that flows through our ears directly into our hearts (where our memories are stored). What song was playing when you first thought about stealing a duck out of a park pond?”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“FREE networking tip #13: Instead of offering your hand when meeting someone, extend a rubber duck that squeaks. It's just a small gesture that says, "I'm here, you're here, and I really care.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Geese are the terrorists of the bird world. They look similar to ducks, which is natural, because the bad guys always try to look like the heroes.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“I’m out of tears, but I’m not going to cry about it. I’m also out of tiers, but that’s on a whole different level that only ducks swimming through the air can reach.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“No matter how expert I become, even on my own duck farm, I want to wear a name tag that says "Trainee." Customers are more patient when they think you are just beginning the learning process. Plus, it's easier to dazzle them when they have zero expectations.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Stop by my duck farm this Friday night for a birdfest event. Live music will be eaten, food will be heard, and there will be FREE refills on FREEDOM—in bald-eagle format.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“How many minutes of my life have I wasted staring at the microwave waiting for my plate to get hot while my food stays refrigerated? To save time, and add potentially years to my life, I've decided that I do like cold pizza. I learned that from my ducks, as they LOVE cold pizza.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I'd probably love the sound that's made when an air guitarist gets struck by lightning while performing. I'd use that sizzle to flavor my Duck Soup.
Of course, I'm open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2's classic 1987 hit album "The Joshua Tree." Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“A man with no character flaws is a man who recently died and is being eulogized at his own funeral by someone surprised that he left his entire estate to them. One day that man will be me, and I'll be leaving all my ducks to you.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I have an English degree, which has as much value as The Papiermark in The Weimar Republic in 1923. It's worthless, and why I'm now a duck farmer. Plus, what could I do with English but be a classroom colonialist? If I wanted to teach something racist, I'd be a math professor.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“Money laundering is dirty business. Next time, try duck farming.”
Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes
“I'm making money moves. Those moves are delicate and subtle, because I don't want to wake up the duck cuddling on my lap, or spill the cup of coffee I'm holding while I ride my unicycle in this circus called Life.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“When I worked as a concierge, I loved getting a pat on the back from a guest, because it's like a tip, only better, because it doesn't devalue like fiat currency, and it will buy me food at the store. Oh yes, shared body language is the best facilitator of trade, and here on my duck farm I accept high-fives for eggs.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“As the dollar gets continuously devalued, competition for The People’s discretionary spending constantly increases. You don’t have to have a long neck like a duck to worry about things getting more cut-throat.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“People pay top dollar to eat my duck eggs. I wish they also paid bottom dollar, plus all the ones in the middle, because honestly, what am I gonna do with a dollar?”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“There's not much money to be made in duck farming. That's OK, because The Whisper Factory is now hiring! Report your grandma for suspicious behavior and get PAID!”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Johnny Cash isn’t king. Not in this inflationary economy. He should have called himself Johnny Gold, but that sounds too full of usury. But Johnny Duckeggs, now THAT sounds kingly.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Why miss a SALE at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? I've found that the opportunity to save that nickel really makes people say YES to buying a NEW duck.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“I like how grocery stores play music while I'm shopping. Vintage pop really makes me want to pay full price and avoid looking for discounts. I need to implement that financial psychology here on my duck farm.”
Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Gas prices are so high that people are trying to save money by demanding absurd deals, like Buy One Duck, Get Twelve FREE. I always respond, "Are you crazy? The best I can do is Buy Two, Get Eleven FREE.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“If The Dollar represents financialization, and The Dollar is dying, and we are moving towards currencies being backed by commodities, then The Future is REAL. BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Coin is backed by duck eggs.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“My duck farm is my side hustle. Only, there's no hustle in my side hustle. It's more like a gentle saunter, or even a waddle.”
Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world
“I just shared a near-death experience with a duck. Tell Grandmother I’ll be home by $2.99, but that I plan on using a coupon, so don't wait up for me.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun. At BearPaw Duck Farm, both are acceptable forms of currency for trade.”
Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“She said she was a fan of Edward Snowden, and I replied, "You know, I'm something of a whistleblower myself. In fact, I'm so advanced it's called a flute. I play elevator music as smooth as a duck swims, and if you enjoy the duration of your ride, you might consider tipping.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“For most people, their brains host their memories. But not me. I store all my nostalgia in my ducks, so even if I should die, my ducks will still know how much money you owe me.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“People pay a lot of fake money for old wine bottles filled with mystery fluid that they haven’t even tasted because it’s centuries old. So, I’m willing to bet people would spend even more fiat currency for new wine bottles filled with duck soup.”
Source: One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production