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Jarod Kintz Quotes

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Famous Jarod Kintz Quotes

“Chinese restaurants seem to be able to stuff a square meter of noodles into a tiny to-go box. If you had that same packing power, what would you cram into your pockets, and why would it be 33 ducks?”

“Invention idea: Broccoli-flavored bubblegum. You know, for kids who won't eat their vegetables. Plus, it will make a great leftover snack when you're by the lake feeding ducks and you find some stuck underneath the park bench you're sitting on.”

“How many minutes of my life have I wasted staring at the microwave waiting for my plate to get hot while my food stays refrigerated? To save time, and add potentially years to my life, I've decided that I do like cold pizza. I learned that from my ducks, as they LOVE cold pizza.”

“I'd probably love the sound that's made when an air guitarist gets struck by lightning while performing. I'd use that sizzle to flavor my Duck Soup. Of course, I'm open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2's classic 1987 hit album "The Joshua Tree." Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.”

“You don't have to be a prophet or a psychic to see the future. All you have to be is an average observer and notice bare grocery shelves to know food shortages are coming. When you're hungry, you think of your favorite restaurant. But when you're starving, I hope you think of BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm.”