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Jarod Kintz Quotes

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Famous Jarod Kintz Quotes

“I like how grocery stores play music while I'm shopping. Vintage pop really makes me want to pay full price and avoid looking for discounts. I need to implement that financial psychology here on my duck farm.”

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Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“It's too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany my newest masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you've got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it's now FOR SALE.”

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Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
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“I haven’t sold Spinning Death Kicks Disguised As Reading A Book Quietly since my third grade teacher confiscated all my camouflage material. She also snatched away my Duck Quacks In A Can (with 50% more flavor).”

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Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“I once saw a moat bicycling around a castle. It was being chased by a soggy giraffe that had a tornado for a neck. I was on the overlooking grassy hill, selling lasagna-free duck soup by the slice to tourists from Nebraska.”

AbsurdSurrealBicycleSalesDuckGiraffeNebraskaCastleLasagnaTornado
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“When I walk my feet and knees pop. They always have. I could never be a ninja. I'm as stealthy as a strobe light at midnight, which of course is the universal sign for Buy One Duck, Get Twelve FREE. My neighbors love when I flash that deal outside their bedroom windows.”

AbsurdDucksSalesDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesNinjaSneakyDeal
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“People have been stabbed over spicy chicken sandwiches. The duck farm industry could benefit from that kind of violence to help increase sales.”

MarketingDucksFarmingSalesDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesFarmSpicy Chicken Sandwich
Book:One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
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“Every Friday The Thirteenth I celebrate Knights Templar Day. Here at my Duck Farm Gift Shop, I've got THE authentic map that details the location of their hidden treasure, and I'll sell it to you for ONLY $19.95. (Limit one per customer.)”

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Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that's foolish, because when I'm not duck farming, I'm a bicycle salesman. Well, I actually only have one bicycle to sell, and I stole it, which is what makes it so profitable.”

MarriageDucksBicycleSalesDuckDuck QuoteDuck QuotesStealCar Sales
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
Create image