jarod-kintz Quotes About saxophone

“I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.”

Humor Romance Music Romantic Absurd Saxophone Elevator Trumpet

Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“I want to work in a store that sells axes and saxophones, and that’s all. I want to be the guy who repairs used birds—particularly ducks.”

Work Ducks Sales Birds Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world

Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world

“Why are there no saxophone-flavored potato chips? It's like they don't want my car to run on an alternative form of energy.”

Energy Music Food Absurd Chips Surreal Saxophone Potato Chips

Book:Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

Source: Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“I played saxophone-shaped music for the elevator, and I played extra. Then I cut the excess into frozen cubes and stuffed them in a Tupperware container to take to work to leave in the fridge so they may begin to stink.”

Humor Music Strange Absurd Weird Saxophone Elevator

Book:Whenever you're here, I'm there for you

Source: Whenever you're here, I'm there for you

“The secret ingredient to my macaroni and cheese is saxophone music. I use it in powdered format, because sometimes it's dormant from the 1980s.”

Humor Music Absurd Saxophone Foodie Macaroni And Cheese

Book:Me and memes and memories

Source: Me and memes and memories

“Powdered Saxophone Music is now FOR SALE. (Duck pond not included.)”

Humor Music Absurd Ducks Surreal Duck Saxophone Duck Pond

Book:A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Source: A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“Ducks splash in water like an aqua saxophone swims in jazz. Elevators have space that needs to be filled with anti-silence, and I have a surplus of liquid music you can purchase or lease.”

Water Music Jazz Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Powdered Saxophone Music

Source: Powdered Saxophone Music

“I love powdered saxophone music. That’s what I mix in my coffee to make it taste like fresh elevator.”

Love Humor Music Taste Coffee Surreal Saxophone Java Elevator

Book:Powdered Saxophone Music

Source: Powdered Saxophone Music

“White people have been accused of not seasoning our chicken. But what about other poultry? I season duck with layered flavors of various aquatic spices, like swimming, splashing, and powdered saxophone music.”

Music Absurd Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone Chicken Seasoning

Book:Powdered Saxophone Music

Source: Powdered Saxophone Music

“Some questions are shaped like slow elevators, and they deserve words that fill spaces like notes from a brass saxophone. Sometimes the silence of body language is music for my eyes.”

Humor Language Music Words Absurd Questions Surreal Saxophone Body Language Elevator

Book:I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

“The world is getting more violent, and we need to be prepared. I once trained for a fight by pushing buttons in an elevator. Of course, it was a Saxophone-FREE environment, which favors my physical combat approach.”

Humor Fighting Music Violence Combat Fight Surreal Saxophone Physical Elevator

Book:I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

“Piano ducks swimming make noises like drowning saxophones. I taught them how to Mozart like powdered Michael Phelps on the bottom of a crushed box of cereal.”

Humor Music Absurd Swimming Ducks Duck Saxophone Mozart

Book:I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

“Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic to drink. But it's perfect for swimming ducks, and that sound really comes across in the taste later.”

Music Taste Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone Xylophone

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Sometimes my duck soup tastes like melted saxophone jazz, only more metallic. That's why I spice it up with trombone solo in liquid format.”

Music Jazz Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone Trombone Duck Soup

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“I once tried to cut down a tree using saxophone music, but it didn’t work because I was playing a flute. That’s when I started designing clothing made out of cardboard boxes and duck farming.”

Music Absurd Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“I play the saxophone like a duck quacks. Tickets are ONLY $19.95. Lessons sold separately. No assembly required.”

Humor Music Absurd Nonsense Ducks Surreal Duck Duck Quote Saxophone

Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“It's too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany my newest masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you've got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it's now FOR SALE.”

Music Absurd Ducks Masterpiece Surreal Sales Duck Duck Quote Saxophone

Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Blow into your saxophone. It’s a diagnostics test for both you and your Abstract Duck Quack Machine.”

Music Absurd Ducks Surreal Duck Duck Quote Saxophone

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Music is fluid, and sometimes I fill up my saxophone to the point where it overflows. Of course, sometimes my ducks splash and slosh it all over my shoes, but the other passengers in the elevator never seem to mind.”

Music Ducks Surreal Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“You know how Asian kids practice their musical instruments with continuous gusto? Well, American kids don't practice at all. I was one of those American kids, and that's how I came to be a performer in an elevator. Enjoy as I coax duck farm sounds out of my saxophone.”

Music Absurd Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“My saxophone pulses out potato-sized notes, and when I play it my ducks dance like French fries in a Quebec winter. I make music for romantics and for elevators.”

Music Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“I'm the only duck farmer I know who also plays the saxophone. Of course, I don't play it well, which is why I only perform in elevators. Also, I'm the only duck farmer I know.”

Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone Duck Farmer

Book:Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world

Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world

“The skills needed to stay employable are changing daily, which is why I'm now offering a class called: "How To Sew Pants While Riding A Unicycle And Playing The Saxophone Like A Quacking Duck." What are the jobs of The Future? Nobody knows, but my class will train you to Get Hired!”

Jobs Absurd Employment Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“I play mini-golf like I shoot pool like I swim in it. That's also how I play the trombone, which is why it makes trumpet noises. For a saxophone-free duck quacking experience, try adding more water.”

Swim Swimming Pool Ducks Weird Surreal Duck Saxophone Trumpet Mini Golf

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“I'm about to make an absurd BearPaw Duck Farm meme. To make a proper marketing GIF, there's only one rule: No matter what flavor you are hoping to achieve, you can never sprinkle in too much saxophone.”

Marketing Absurd Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone Meme Meme Marketing

Book:BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

Source: BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“First Artificial Intelligence stole all the jobs. Then it snatched up all the people off the streets at night, and now I'm left alone, playing my saxophone at the moon.”

Humor Music Moon Saxophone

Book:The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

Source: The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Play your saxophone like a quacking duck. An electric guitar full of lightning doesn't even have that energy.”

Humor Energy Music Guitar Ducks Lightning Duck Duck Quote Saxophone

Book:The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

Source: The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“I don't play the saxophone. But that's OK, because I talk to my quacking ducks, and our conversation is like music to my neighbor's six AM ears.”

Humor Music Morning Absurd Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone Neighbors

Book:Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

Source: Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“I managed to combine a saxophone and a trombone into one musical sound. Then I powdered it and sealed it in a can, so when you’re ready to enjoy it just add water and stir.”

Humor Sound Water Music Absurd Surreal Saxophone Trombone

Book:Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

Source: Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge. I also arrange notes in other shapes, like sound sculptures.”

Humor Sound Music Notes Absurd Sculpture Surreal Saxophone

Book:Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

Source: Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“I play jazz. Duck noises come out of my saxophone, and that lack of musical quality is how you know I’ve mastered the genre.”

Humor Music Jazz Absurd Ducks Duck Saxophone

Book:Whenever you're here, I'm there for you

Source: Whenever you're here, I'm there for you

“I’m wearing a new shirt, and I just spilled saxophone all over it. It will stain like a cacophony of quacking ducks, and that can only mean one thing—it’s time for breakfast.”

Absurd Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world

Source: Ducks are the stars of the karaoke bird world

“My ducks swim like they are water dancing. They do this because I play the saxophone like it's liquid music.”

Music Dancing Dance Swim Swimming Ducks Duck Duck Quote Duck Quotes Saxophone

Book:Powdered Saxophone Music

Source: Powdered Saxophone Music

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