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Mark Twain

Mark Twain Quotes

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Famous Mark Twain Quotes

“Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.”

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Book:A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
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“The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.”

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Book:The outrageous Mark Twain: some lesser-known but extraordinary works : with
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“Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly - a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.”

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Book:Mark Twain’s Letters & Speeches (Annotated Edition)
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“If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly the Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his commercial importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk. His contributions to the world's list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also away out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers.”

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Book:Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations
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“India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.”

MenHumansPastMotherRaceMaterialsSpeechTraditionIndiaIndependenceValuableIndianHuman RaceGrandmotherRepublicLegendsHinduismCradleIndependence DayGreat NationsTreasuredIndian CultureIndependence Day PatrioticRepublic DayBirthplaceHappy Independence Day UsaHappy Independence Day IndiaHappy Independence DayIndia Independence DayInspiring Independence DayIndian Independence DayGrand MotherUs Independence DayIndian Patriotic
Author:Mark Twain
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“The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter; the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.”

LoveWritingMindHumansHeartExpressionProductsLettersStrangerStatementsHuman MindHeart And MindLimitlessLove Letter
Book:Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review
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“In all the ages the Roman Church has owned slaves, bought and sold slaves, authorized and encouraged her children to trade in them. . . . There were the texts; there was no mistaking their meaning; . . . she was doing in all this thing what the Bible had mapped out for her to do. So unassailable was her position that in all the centuries she had no word to say against human slavery.”

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Author:Mark Twain
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“Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others.”

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Author:Mark Twain
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“I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning-knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair.”

HumansWellsHas BeensSeemsReadingCausesPrayerRaceMorningKnowingCivilizationDespairPaperCrueltyHuman RaceHypocrisyUsualEvery MorningDamnationDepravityPleadingAnswered PrayersBaseness
Author:Mark Twain
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“A policeman in plain clothes is a man; in his uniform he is ten. Clothes and title are the most potent thing, the most formidable influence, in the earth. They move the human race to willing and spontaneous respect for the judge, the general, the admiral, the bishop, the ambassador, the frivolous earl, the idiot duke, the sultan, the king, the emperor. No great title is efficient without clothes to support it.”

MenHumansEarthMovingRaceSupportInfluenceWillingJudgingKingsTenClothesRespectIdiotTitlesHuman RaceEfficientUniformsSpontaneousPolicemenEmperorBishopsAmbassadorsDukesFormidableFrivolousAdmiral
Book:The Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, Life on the Mississippi, Yankee in King Arthur's Court…
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“The laws of Nature, that is to say the laws of God, plainly made every human being a law unto himself, we must steadfastly refuse to obey those laws, and we must as steadfastly stand by the conventions which ignore them, since the statutes furnish us peace, fairly good government, and stability, and therefore are better for us than the laws of God, which would soon plunge us into confusion and disorder and anarchy if we should adopt them.”

IfsShouldHumansMadeGovernmentLawHuman BeingsRefuseConfusionDisorderAnarchyStabilityConventionsLaws Of NaturePlungeStatutes
Book:Mark Twain and the three R's: race, religion, revolution--and related matters
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“The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one - to defeat the laws of Nature. This is the case among all the nations, both civilized and savage. It is a grotesquerie, but when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.”

HumansLawPurposeOpportunityNationsRaceCasesLosingDefeatHuman RaceCivilizedSavagesLaws Of NatureGrotesquePrecedence
Book:Autobiography of Mark Twain
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“As to the human race. There are many pretty and winning things about the human race. It is perhaps the poorest of all the inventions of all the gods but it has never suspected it once. There is nothing prettier than its naive and complacent appreciation of itself. It comes out frankly and proclaims without bashfulness or any sign of a blush that it is the noblest work of God. It has had a billion opportunities to know better, but all signs fail with this ass. I could say harsh things about it but I cannot bring myself to do it-it is like hitting a child.”

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Book:The outrageous Mark Twain: some lesser-known but extraordinary works : with
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“We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.”

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Book:Mark Twain-Howells Letters: The Correspondence of Samuel L. Clemens and William D. Howells, 1872-1910
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“I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.”

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Book:Mark Twain's Correspondence with Henry Huttleston Rogers, 1893-1909
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“A person who has during all time maintained the imposing position of spiritual head of four-fifths of the human race, and political head of the whole of it, must be granted the possession of executive abilities of the loftiest order.”

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Book:Short Stories And Sketches (Annotated Edition)
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“Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society. Who shall say that this is not the golden age of mutual trust, of unlimited reliance upon human promises? That is a peculiar condition of society which enables a whole nation to instantly recognize point and meaning in the familiar newspaper anecdote, which puts into the mouth of a distinguished speculator in lands and mines this remark: -- I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions of dollars.”

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Book:The Complete Novels of Mark Twain (Illustrated): 12 American Classics & Author’s Biography: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, A Horse’s Tale, The Prince and the Pauper, The American Claimant, The Mysterious Stranger…
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