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Famous Mark Twain Quotes
“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
“Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.”
“Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.”
“Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.”
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”
“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”
“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.”
“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”
“You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.”
“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.”
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”
“I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.”
“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”
“To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.”
“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
“Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.”
“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
