Quotessence
Home / Authors / Mark Twain
Mark Twain

Mark Twain Quotes

Author

Filter quotes by topic

AllMenIfsPeopleFunnyKnowsWayInspirationalWorldHumorHumansInspirationYearsBookLifeReligionThinkingTwoHas BeensWritingLying

Famous Mark Twain Quotes

“I cannot see the short, white curls Upon the forehead of an Ox, But what I see them dripping with That poor thing's blood, and hear the ax; When I see calves and lambs, I see Them led to death; I see no bird Or rabbit cross the open field But what a sudden shot is heard; A shout that tells me men aim true, For death or wound, doth chill me through. W.H. Davies I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.”

MenHas BeensWhiteAnimalPoorResultsStudyHeardBloodFieldsCreaturesBirdShotsCrossesAimWoundsTraitsDispositionChillRabbitsForeheadsLambsCurlsHumiliatingDrippingCalvesOpen Fields
Author:Mark Twain
Create image

“You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.”

KnowsMenTryingHas BeensHigherBiggerNewspapersNoiseCommandSalaryAlphasOmaha
Book:The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays
Create image

“When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.”

IfsWorldPersonsHas BeensStillsFactsJobsLeftStandardsJokesIdealsMovedPracticalsIgnorantCherishObscureManhoodIndulgeIndulge InDiscardedBoyhoodGaugesPractical Joke
Book:Autobiography of Mark Twain
Create image

“One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one. From the code of morals I have been following and revising and revising for 72 years I remember one detail. All my life I have been honest - comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly - I could only lend it.”

IfsYearsFirstsHas BeensMadeCharacterUseRememberMoralAtheismHonestAssumingDetailsFollowingPositive AtheismHonestlyCodeRevising
Author:Mark Twain
Create image

“It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that.”

Has BeensSeemsWorstCrimeBearsCriticismCriticsBurdenGods WillDriftingCongressmanHumorists
Book:Autobiography of Mark Twain: Reader's Edition
Create image

“A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the world because he is a jackass; but anobleman is not valuable because he is a jackass. It is a mixture that is always ineffectual, and should never have been attempted in the first place. And yet, once you start a mistake, the trouble is done and you never know what is going to come of it.”

KnowsWorldShouldFirstsKindHas BeensDonePurposeMistakeTroubleStrengthValuableMixturesAristocracyJackasses
Book:MARK TWAIN Ultimate Collection: 370+ Titles in One Volume (Illustrated): The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, The Prince and the Pauper, The £1,000,000 Bank Note, A Horse’s Tale, Yankee in King Arthur's Court, The Innocents Abroad, Life on the Mississippi…
Create image

“There is in life only one moment and in eternity only one. It is so brief that it is represented by the fleeting of a luminous mote through the thin ray of sunlight - and it is visible but a fraction of a second. The moments that preceded it have been lived, are forgotten and are without value; the moments that have not been lived have no existence and will have no value except in the moment that each shall be lived. While you are asleep you are dead; and whether you stay dead an hour or a billion years the time to you is the same.”

YearsHas BeensMomentsValuesHoursExistenceEternityForgottenBillionsVisibleRaysSunlightFleetingFractionsLuminous
Book:Mark Twain's notebook
Create image

“I will gradually drop this subject of graveyards. I have been trying all I could to get down to the sentimental part of it, but I cannot accomplish it. I think there is no genuinely sentimental part to it. It is all grotesque, ghastly, horrible.”

ThinkingTryingHas BeensSubjectsAccomplishHorribleSentimentalGraveyardGrotesqueGhastly
Book:The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays
Create image

“If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits break into grateful advertising-raptures and call attention to how good he is. Yes, he has done it. Perhaps he waited a thousand years before doing it. They forget to say that he is the slowest mover in the universe, that his Eye That Never Sleeps, might as well, since it takes a century to see what any other eye can see in a week.”

IfsYearsWellsHas BeensDoneMightEyeUniverseSleepForgetAttentionBreakWeekCenturyThousandDiseaseGratefulCreditAdvertisingHis EyesThousand YearsRapturePulpitNever SleepWorking For God
Author:Mark Twain
Create image

“Where was the use, originally, in rushing this whole globe through in six days? It is likely that if more time had been taken in the first place, the world would have been made right, and this ceaseless improving and repairing would not be necessary now. But if you hurry a world or a house, you are nearly sure to find out by and by that you have left out a towhead, or a broom-closet, or some other little convenience, here and there, which has got to be supplied, no matter how much expense or vexation it may cost.”

IfsWorldFirstsMayLittlesHas BeensMadeMatterWholeUseHouseLeftTakenCostSixExpensesMore TimeGlobesImprovingClosetsConvenienceHere And ThereRushingLeft OutBroomsVexationRepairing
Book:Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)
Create image

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”

InspirationalShouldHas BeensAgeHappinessGrowing UpPositiveLaughterAgingSmileOld AgeBirthdayGetting OldGetting OlderGrowing OldIndicationAgeingWrinklesGood MorningI SmileYour SmileJust SmileFunny AgingFrowningBirthdays And AgingAlways Be HappyMy SmileHis SmileKeep SmilingMake You SmileStaying YoungBest SmileAge Of 40Inspirational AgeJust Keep SmilingSmile And LaughLaughs And SmilesSmile And LaughterBeautiful SmileLaughter And SmilesMilestone BirthdayHappy LaughterAll SmilesYou Made Me SmileSmile MoreHappiness And LaughterSmile LaughFunny SmileHappy SmileYou Make Me SmileBaby SmileHe Makes Me SmileSmiling And Being HappySimple SmileAging And WisdomCute SmileNice SmileBehind A Smile
Book:Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations
Create image

“The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive ... but in spite of their religion, not because of it. The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetic in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve. And every step in astronomy and geology ever taken has been opposed by bigotry and superstition. The Greeks surpassed us in artistic culture and in architecture five hundred years before Christian religion was born.”

YearsHas BeensUseChristianReligionCultureNationsBornChurchSinChristianityStepsTakenFiveAtheismHundredDiscoveryInnovationArchitectureAstronomyArtisticGreekCurseSpiteEnlightenedBigotryProgressiveSuperstitionsBiblicalScience And ReligionAvoidedEvery StepChildbirthGeologyScience ReligionChristian AtheistScience Vs ReligionChristian NationAnesthetics
Author:Mark Twain
Create image

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”

KnowsMenLoveHas BeensSeemsTimeGrowthMemoriesPerfectLove IsMarriageCenturyLove YouMarriedDivorceMy WifeQuartersInspirational LoveWeddingBeing MarriedMarriage AdviceFunny MarriageGetting MarriedHappy MarriageLove And MarriageMarriage LifePerfect LovePositive MarriageGood MarriageMarriage LoveInspiring LoveWedding AnniversaryMarried ManGreat MarriageMarried WomenWedding MarriageInspirational MarriageBest MarriageWedding ToastLasting MarriageWeddings And MarriageNewlywedsWeddings And LoveWedding LoveHappy DivorceMarriage DivorcePerfect WomanGreat WeddingMarriage And Love InspirationalMarried LoveQuarter Of A CenturyWives LoveMarriage AnniversaryPerfect MarriageGreat WifeWedding SentimentsHappy Marriage AdviceMarriage ToastMarriage Advice For NewlywedsMarriage EngagementMarriage Wisdom50th Wedding AnniversaryParents MarriagePerfect HusbandWhat Is MarriagePerfect Wife
Book:The Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, Life on the Mississippi, Yankee in King Arthur's Court…
Create image

“It has been reported that I was seriously ill--it was another man; dying--it was another man; dead--the other man again...As far as I can see, nothing remains to be reported, except that I have become a foreigner. When you hear it, don't you believe it. And don't take the trouble to deny it. Merely just raise the American flag on our house in Hartford and let it talk.”

MenBelieveHas BeensI CanDeathHouseTroubleDyingRaisesRemainsIllDenyFlagsAnother ManForeignersAmerican Flag
Author:Mark Twain
Create image

“The motto stated a lie. If this nation has ever trusted in God, that time has gone by; for nearly half a century almost its entire trust has been in the Republican party and the dollar--mainly the dollar. I recognize that I am only making an assertion and furnishing no proof; I am sorry, but this is a habit of mine; sorry also that I am not alone in it; everybody seems to have this disease.”

IfsHas BeensGodSeemsLyingNationsPartyHalfGoneCenturyMinesHabitRepublicanDiseaseDollarsSorryPositive AtheismProofTrustedRepublican PartyMottoNot AloneAssertionI Am SorryAm SorryHalf A Century
Book:Mark Twain in Eruption (Abridged, Annotated)
Create image

“All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country; after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.”

MindHas BeensCountryProblemPoliticalPoliticsDifficultRichStrangeCitizensAverageDoctrineProvenDifficult Problems
Author:Mark Twain
Create image

“When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind, in its maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt upon the validity of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself.”

IfsWorldMindKindHas BeensSeemsScienceDoubtChildhoodCircumstancesEvidenceCastsMaturityIf I CouldOur WorldSuperstitionsSkepticismSincerelyExaminationValidity
Book:Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)
Create image

“My own luck has been curious all my literary life; I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.”

BelieveHas BeensTruthLyingMy OwnDoubtLuckCurious
Book:MARK TWAIN - The Man Behind the Humor: Complete Autobiographical Books & Biographies: The Complete Travel Books, Essays, Autobiographical Writings, Speeches & Letters, With Author’s Biography; The Innocents Abroad, Roughing It, Life on the Mississippi, What Is Man, Christian Science…
Create image

“Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If The Eiffel Tower were now to represent the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.”

IfsMenWorldYearsHas BeensDoneAgeScienceUniverseMillionsShareEvolutionHundredBuiltSkinsPaintProofPerceiveTowersSummitPinnacleEiffel TowerKnobsEiffel
Book:Mark Twain’s Book of Animals
Create image

“In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence.”

PeopleShouldMeanDoeHas BeensImportantDoneHappensRememberMemoriesForgetExistenceHappenedForgivenessForgivingContraryDrawingAtrocitiesForgiving People
Author:Mark Twain
Create image