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Mindy Kaling

Mindy Kaling Quotes

Actress

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Famous Mindy Kaling Quotes

“I'm the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.”

KindPersonsMadeGivenQualityWatchesPiecesEmotionalExpectationsDramaticTheatricalNeedyEmotional LifeHopes Up
Book:Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
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“Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.”

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Book:Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
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“In real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with the for the next forty years.”

YearsPersonsRealEndsNextWaitingPartyReal LifeBunchFortyGardeningGreat DayPals
Book:Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)(Enhanced Edition)
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“Haley and I would talk for hours about which member of 'N Sync we'd want to marry. After long deliberation, the answer was always J. C. Chasez. Joey Fatone's last name was going to be “Fat One” no matter how great he was, and even though they didn't know at their age that Lance Bass was gay outright, they sensed he'd make a better good friend and confidante. As for Justin Timberlake, well, JT was the coolest and hottest, but too flashy, so we couldn't trust him to be faithful. J. C. Chasez was the smart compromise.”

KnowsWantWellsLongMatterAgeLastsNamesHoursAnswersGayMembersSmartFatsCompromiseFaithfulGood FriendBassBeing FaithfulJustinDeliberationHottestSyncFlashyHaleyJoey
Book:Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)(Enhanced Edition)
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“I’m not complaining about Romance Being Dead - I’ve just described a happy marriage as based on talking about plants and a canceled Ray Romano show and drinking milkshakes: not exactly rose petals and gazing into each other’s eyes at the top of the Empire State Building or whatever. I’m pretty sure my parents have gazed into each other’s eyes maybe once, and that was so my mom could put eyedrops in my dad’s eyes.”

StatesShowsEyeRomanceParentTalkingBuildingMomDadRosePlantDrinkingMy DadMy MomComplainingEmpiresRaysPetalsGazingHappy MarriageRose PetalsEmpire State BuildingEmpire StateMilkshakes
Book:Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)(Enhanced Edition)
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“In high school, I had fun in my academic clubs, watching movies with my girlfriends, learning Latin, having long, protracted, unrequited crushes on older guys who didn’t know me, and yes, hanging out with my family. I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you’re grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that’s it.”

KnowsYearsLongSchoolGuyFunRealizingHigh SchoolMy FamilyClubsGirlfriendCrushHanging OutLatinAcademicKnow MeEighteenMy GirlfriendUnrequitedHad FunI Had FunOlder Guys
Book:Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)(Enhanced Edition)
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“Once I saw Paris Hilton leaving a restaurant in Hollywood and the paparazzi cameras were all over her. It looked so unpleasant. It wasn't because she didn't look sensational - she was that perfect combination of fashionable and slutty - it was because the paparazzi guys were shouting these insanely rude and intrusive questions at her. Like, asking her who she was sleeping with and stuff. I was kind of interested in the answer, so I was glad they asked, but it was still gross.”

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Book:Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)(Enhanced Edition)
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“The Internet also makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to focus. One small break to look up exactly how almond milk is made, and four hours later I'm reading about the Donner Party and texting all my friends: DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE DONNER PARTY AND HOW MESSED UP THAT WAS? TEXT ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT!”

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Book:Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)(Enhanced Edition)
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“People ask me all the time how I got hired onto the Office. Another common question is how do I manage to stay so down-to-earth in the face of such incredible success? ... A third frequently asked question is: "Girl, where you from? Trinidad? Guyana? Dominican Republic? You married? You got kids?" This is mostly asked by guys on the sidewalk selling I LOVE NEW YORK paraphernalia in New York City.”

PeopleKidsEarthFacesGuyGirlAsksCommonCitiesNew YorkOfficeMarriedThirdsIncrediblesSellingManageAsk MeRepublicNew York CityDown To EarthSidewalkI Love New YorkDominican RepublicTrinidad
Author:Mindy Kaling
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“..I find it incredible impossible not to cry when I hear Stevie Nicks's "Landslide," especially the lyric: "I've been afraid of changing, because I've built my life around you." I think a good test to see if a human is actually a robot/android/cylon is to have them listen to this song lyric and study their reaction. If they don't cry, you should stab them through the heart. You will find a fusebox.”

IfsThinkingShouldHumansHeartSongStudyImpossibleCryBuiltTestsIncrediblesReactionsRobotsAndroidsLandslides
Author:Mindy Kaling
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“I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.”

PeopleThinkingShouldRealChoicesNamesKnowingConditionsPrioritiesHeyYou ChooseAcceptableNot KnowingRudeReal ThingsDisclaimers
Book:Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)(Enhanced Edition)
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“When I was a kid, my parents smartly raised us to keep quiet, be respectful to older people, and generally not question adults all that much. I think that's because they were assuming that 99 percent of the time, we'd be interacting with worthy, smart adults... They didn't ever tell me 'Sometimes you will meet idiots who are technically adults and authority figures. You don't have to do what they say.”

PeopleThinkingSometimesKidsParentFiguresQuietAuthoritySmartPercentAdultsAssumingRaisedWorthyIdiotRespectfulInteractingOlder PeopleBe RespectfulAuthority Figures
Author:Mindy Kaling
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“I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn’t conversation. It’ll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, “Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake.”

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Author:Mindy Kaling
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