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I Quotes

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All I Quotes

“I bet him and all his Guy brothers had burst through the nightclub entrance, poured an insane amount of alcohol into their systems, and snatched at anything with a pulse that wandered past their sloshed eyes. I bet after all the hoopla subsided, the demented Guys spilled out of the nightclub at some ungodly hour, intoxicated blood pumping, gallivanting around the city like foul beasts seeking their next series of exploitations.”

“I bet I can get you relaxed enough that you sleep like you're on a cloud, basking in the sun.' I snorted again, rolling my eyes. 'You doubt me?' 'There's nothing anyone or anything in this world could do that would make that happen.' 'There is so much you don't know.' My eyes narrowed. 'That may be true, but that is one thing I do know.' 'You're wrong. And I can prove it.' 'Whatever,' I sighed. 'I can, and when I'm done, right before you drift off to sleep with a smile on your face, you're going to tell me I'm right,' he told me.”

“I bet if I were pharaoh, I’d have had my tomb planned and designed by the time I was ten. I've always wanted to be five steps ahead of where I am. And my mind does it right now: I picture the king on his deathbed, and Ay delivers the awful news to me, but I'm the best embalmer in Thebes thanks to Anubis, so I'm alone in a dark room, and I cut open his soft chest, and take out a heart filled with dreams and love and sadness.”

“I bet if you look at the average teenager and the average adult, the average teenager has read more books in the last year than the average adult. Now of course the adult would be all like, 'I'm busy, I got a job, I got stuff to do.' WHATEVER! READ! I mean, you're watching CSI: Miami. Why would you be watching CSI: Miami, when you could be READING CSI: Miami, the novelization?”

“I bet it was also the triumphant Aha! and not the truth itself that had fueled all those famous literary detectives I knew not much about except their names - Philip Marlowe, Sherlock Holmes, Joe and Frank Hardy. I felt like yelling something celebratory on my way home, something like, Yeah! or Fuck, yeah! just like Marlowe would have yelled, just like the Hardys would have yelled, and maybe Holmes, too, although maybe that's why he kept Watson around; to tell Holmes to simmer down and not get too far ahead of himself.”

“I bet our kiddos are sturdier than we think. Maybe they don't need every gadget and advantage. Maybe kids grow like all humans do: through struggle, failure, and perseverance. They might have a gear we didn't know about and don't need to be coddled like fragile hothouse plants that can't adapt to new environments. I bet the kids will surprise us.”

“I bet the people living in the timeline where Hillary is president are laughing at us. They’re probably sipping lattes and giggling: “Imagine if Trump had won! Can you even imagine what that clusterfuck would look like?” But even in their wildest dreams they wouldn’t come up with the unimaginable clusterfuck that our timeline is.”