Best hell & ifs Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“If you could hear the insane stuff going on in my head, it would scare the hell out of you. Probably. Or fascinate you. Depends on how easily you're startled, I guess.”

Ifs Stuff Hell Depends Insane Scare

Author:Jenny Lawson

“If I were overweight because I ate too much, I would have far more of a complex. I would know if I just stopped eating and showed a little discipline I would be thin. But there's not a hell of a lot I can do about being short. You just gotta run with it.”

Ifs Knows Littles I Can Would Be Running Can Do Hell Too Much Discipline Eating Complexes Overweight

Author:Michael J. Fox

“If I were God, I would just be up there scratching my head, thinking, 'What the hell am I supposed to do with this?' For everyone helping an old lady across the street, there's someone else bludgeoning a person to death. And sometimes they're the same. How can He separate us all out?”

Ifs Thinking Persons Sometimes Helping Hell Streets Old Lady

Author:Michael Shannon

“Take a job, do it for ten years and work at it, and you'll succeed. Can I just add, take a job that you enjoy. If you don't enjoy the job, it's going to be a decade of hell.”

Ifs Years Jobs Enjoy Hell Succeed Ten Add Decades

Author:Eric Bolling

“I have so much to grapple with, I don't think too much about me. People call it the "dance of a thousand egos" when you make a movie. If only I had time to worry when I was making a movie about what the hell I was doing. It's sort of a marathon every day. And then at the end of it, you beg the producers for five more marathons.”

People Ifs Thinking Ends Worry Hell Five Too Much Thousand Ego Producers Marathon

Author:Andrew Niccol

“As a little kid, not only is my dad Jo-Jo White, but M. L. Carr is involved in the family, Red Auerbach is my godfather, and my stepmother was an Olympic-caliber sprinter. Athletes were all around. I happened to be a natural athlete. If I wasn't, it might have been hell. But I never got any pressure from my mom and dad to be an athlete.”

“If someone tells you to do something for money, tell them to go to hell.”

Ifs Hell Go To Hell

Author:Ray Bradbury

“But if you cover the World Series on the news or do a feature on an Ali boxing match then all of a sudden ears go up all over the place and people say what the hell are you doing. The reason for that is that we're doing something that people are really interested in.”

People Ifs World Reason Hell News Ears Series Features Boxing World Series Boxing Matches

Author:Roone Arledge

“Why in hell can't the Army do it if the Marines can. They are the same kind of men; why can't they be like Marines.”

Ifs Men Kind Hell Military Army Marine Marine Corps Usmc United States Marine United States Marine Corps My Marine

Author:John J. Pershing

“Unless you see your nature, you shouldn't go around criticizing the goodness of others. There's no advantage in deceiving yourself. Good and bad are distinct. Cause and effect are clear. But fools don't believe and fall straight into a hell of endless darkness without even knowing it. What keeps them from believing is the heaviness of their karma. They're like blind people who don't believe there's such a thing as light. Even if you explain it to them, they still don't believe, because they're blind. How can they possibly distinguish light?”

“Anyone who is outside this Church ... is walking a path not to Heaven but to Hell. He is not getting closer to the home of eternal. life; on the contrary, he is hurrying to the torment of eternal death. And this is the case not only if he remains a pagan without Baptism, but even if he continue as a heretic after having been baptized.”

Ifs Home Heaven Church Cases Hell Path Walking Eternal Remains Contrary Sacraments Torment Eternal Life Pagan Baptism Heretic Hurrying Baptized

Author:Fulgentius of Cartagena

“If we continue...to consume the world until there's no more to consume, then there's going to come a day, sure as hell, when our children or their children or their children's children are going to look back on us - on you and me - and say to themselves, "My God, what kind of monsters were these people?"”

People Ifs World Looks Kind Children Hell Future Our Children Monsters

Author:Daniel Quinn

“What the hell is the sense of trying to hold the Democratic party together, if it's really a party of expediency, something that's put together every four years?”

Ifs Trying Years Together Party Hell Four Democratic Four Years Democratic Party Expediency

Book:Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72

Source: Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72

“If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.”

Ifs Today Hell Sadness Nostalgia Yesterday Present Moment Hung Live In The Moment Live In The Present Admitting Live In The Now Future And Present

Author:Art Buchwald

“Either Christianity is true or it's false. If you bet that it's true, and you believe in God and submit to Him, then if it IS true, you've gained God, heaven, and everything else. If it's false, you've lost nothing, but you've had a good life marked by peace and the illusion that ultimately, everything makes sense. If you bet that Christianity is not true, and it's false, you've lost nothing. But if you bet that it's false, and it turns out to be true, you've lost everything and you get to spend eternity in hell.”

Ifs Believe Turns Lost Heaven Christianity Hell Illusion Eternity Being True Make Sense Believe In God Good Life Submit True You Lost Everything

Author:Blaise Pascal

“It was before Vatican II and the liberalization of church doctrine. You weren't meant to eat meat on Friday in deference to Christ, who died on Friday. If you did, you went to hell, . . That way, Hitler would be in hell alongside someone who ate meat on Friday. I thought there was no justice there.”

Ifs Way Would Be Christ Church Justice Hell Died Doctrine Meat Friday Deference Vatican Ii

Author:Christopher Durang

“My life closed twice before its close; It yet remains to see If Immortality unveil A third event to me, So huge, so hopeless to conceive, As these that twice befell. Parting is all we know of heaven, And all we need of hell.”

Ifs Knows Needs Death Heaven Hell Events Huge Thirds Encouragement Remains Immortality Pet Hopeless Parting

Author:Emily Dickinson

“My theory is that everything went to hell with Prohibition, because it was a law nobody could obey. So the whole concept of the rule of law was corrupted at that moment. Then came Vietnam, and marijuana, which clearly shouldn't be illegal, but is. If you go to jail for ten years in Texas when you light up a joint, who are you? You're a lawbreaker. It's just like Prohibition was. When people accept breaking the law as normal, something happens to the whole society, you see?”

“If you have a bad thought about yourself, tell it to go to hell because that is exactly where it came from.”

Ifs Hell About Yourself Go To Hell Bad Thoughts

Author:Brigham Young

“What matters Death, if Freedom be not dead? No flags are fair, if Freedom's flag be furled. Who fights for Freedom, goes with joyful tread To meet the fires of Hell against him hurled.”

Ifs Matter Poetry Fighting Hell Fire Fairs Flags Joyful What Matters Fighting For Freedom

Book:Joyce Kilmer: Memoir and poems

Source: Joyce Kilmer: Memoir and poems

“If I were to start taking care of my grooming, I would no longer be my own self... so the hell with it... I will continue to be unconcerned about it, which surely has the advantage that I'm left in peace by many a fop who would otherwise come to see me.”

Ifs Self Care Left My Own Hell Advantage Grooming Unconcerned

Book:The Ultimate Quotable Einstein

Source: The Ultimate Quotable Einstein

“I was entirely wrapped up in the idea of becoming an actor. I learned how to write on the job, basically out of necessity. I always thought it'd be fun to write something, but it never was an ambition of mine, per se. I just thought, "Well, maybe I'll do it one day just for the hell of it and see if it works."”

Ifs Writing Wells Ideas Jobs Actors Fun Hell Mines Becoming One Day Ambition

Author:Glenn Howerton

“If I had to sit in Heaven forever, knowing that there are these people, millions and millions- probably billions of people, suffering these eternal horrible torments and there was nothing I could ever do for them, that, to me, would be Hell.”

People Ifs Would Be Suffering Heaven Millions Hell Forever Knowing Eternal Billions Horrible Torment

Author:Richard Carrier

“People tell me if I don't eat vegetables, I'm going to get scurvy. Well, what the hell. But I was never overweight as a player. There was a clause in my contract that said I had to weigh in at 270 every Friday morning. I always made it. I'd have dinner on Monday, and then I wouldn't eat until Friday.”

People Ifs Wells Made Said Morning Hell Player Dinner Made It Contracts Vegetables Monday Friday Overweight Clauses Friday Morning

Author:Art Donovan

“Women are a source of energy in life. I've always wanted to be in a war or baseball movie, but the thought of having no women on set for six months - that's hell. I don't know if it's animalistic or what, but men become like peacocks with their feathers up when women are around.”

Ifs Knows Men War Wanted Energy Hell Source Months Six Baseball Gender Feathers Six Months Peacock Animalistic

Author:Bradley Cooper

“If we drill the hell out of everything, including protected public lands and fragile regions like the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, America can emerge as an 'energy superpower.'”

Ifs America Energy Hell Land Including Regions Fragile Protected Refuge Wildlife Superpower Drills Arctic Public Lands

Author:Jeff Goodell

“I wanted to go home and if Hell rose up to stop me, it would make me desire it more.”

Ifs Home Wanted Desire Hell Rose

Book:Prince of Thorns

Source: Prince of Thorns

“If there is in fact, a heaven and a hell, all we know for sure is that hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix.”

Ifs Knows Facts Heaven Hell Versions Phoenix Gonzo

Book:Generation of Swine: The Brutal Odyssey of an Outlaw Journalist

Source: Generation of Swine: The Brutal Odyssey of an Outlaw Journalist

“You know, look, if I could strangle these people and not go to hell and get executed, I would, but I can't.”

People Ifs Knows Looks I Can Hell If I Could Go To Hell

Author:Bill O'Reilly

“If there is a God what the hell is He for?”

Ifs Hell If There Is A God

Book:The Sound and the Fury: And As I Lay Dying

Source: The Sound and the Fury: And As I Lay Dying

“You have one of two choices. Either you can panic and start making frantic attempts to reform under the glare of these awful critical eyes, or you can just say, "The hell with you! I know what I'm doing. If you don't yet, it's because you haven't given me an attentive reading.”

Ifs Knows Two Eye Choices Reading Given Hell Havens Criticism Critical Awful Reform Panic Frantic Glare Two Choices

Author:Saul Bellow

“Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try. No hell below us, above us only sky. Imagine all the people living for today...”

People Ifs Trying Today Heaven Easy Imagination Hell Imagine Sky Atheist Live For Today Atheistic

Author:John Lennon

“We may have hell if we have war, and we may have hell if we have peace. But if we have no vision for what we do, we have hell anyway.”

Ifs May War Vision Hell

Book:The Air-line to Liberty: A Prospectus for All Nations

Source: The Air-line to Liberty: A Prospectus for All Nations

“The memoirs I love are all very intense. If you're going to do a memoir and protect yourself, what the hell's the point? Just do fiction.”

Ifs Fiction Hell Protect Intense Memoir Protect Yourself

Author:Gary Shteyngart

“I'll tell you what's at the bottom of it. If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.”

Ifs Men Giving Looks White Money Hell Society Empty Bottom Superiors Convince Pockets Black People Superiority Lowest Presidency White Man Convincing Noticing

Author:Lyndon B. Johnson

“When I'm killed, don't think of me Buried there in Cambrin Wood, Nor as in Zion think of me With the Intolerable Good. And there's one thing that I know well, I'm damned if I'll be damned to Hell!”

Ifs Thinking Knows Wells Hell One Thing Woods Buried Think Of Me Zion

Book:Complete Poems

Source: Complete Poems

“Cuz if I don't say I'm the best, tell me who the hell will.”

Ifs Hell Cuz

Author:Phife Dawg

“If you want to deserve Hell, you need only stay in bed. The world is iniquity; if you accept it, you are an accomplice, if you change it you are an executioner.”

Ifs World Want Needs Accepting Hell Bed Deserve Iniquity Executioners Accomplices

Author:Jean-Paul Sartre

“If a man dies of cancer in fear and despair, then cry for his pain and celebrate his life. The other man, who fought like hell and laughed in the end, but also died, may have had an easier time in his final months, but took his leave with no more humanity.”

Ifs Men May Ends Pain Humanity Dies Hell Cry Months Easier Despair Died Finals Cancer Celebrate Laughed Easier Times

Book:Full House

Source: Full House

“If you look at any religious description of hell, it is the same as human society, the way we dream. Hell is a place of suffering, a place of fear, a place of war and violence, a place of judgment and no justice, a place of punishment that never ends.”

Ifs Way Humans Looks War Ends Dream Suffering Religious Justice Hell Violence Judgment Punishment Description Human Society

Author:Miguel

“If there's a heaven, I hope to hell I go!”

Ifs Heaven Hell

Author:Dolly Parton

“Now that my wine has been served in the White House, why not me? Who could talk to farmers better than I? Somebody even asked me the other day if I had anything in my platform about taxes. 'Hell yes,' I said. 'Great state. But I wouldn't want to live there.'”

Ifs Want Has Beens Said States House White Hell Taxes Wine Why Not White House Farmers Platforms

Author:Pat Paulsen

“Even in hell, if a man was a man, you'd know it.”

Ifs Knows Men Hell

Author:Stephen Vincent Benet

“May Heaven exist, even if my place is Hell.”

Ifs May Heaven Hell

Author:Jorge Luis Borges

“I will tell you one other thing about money: when you don't have it, it sure as hell affects the quality of people's health, and their relationships. And paper money isn't even real today, right? It's all really ones and zeros in computers today. But at the same time, if you don't have it, it certainly affects the quality of your life.”

People Ifs Real Today Quality Hell Paper Computer Paper Money

Author:Tony Robbins

“If something's neither here nor there, where the hell is it?”

Ifs Humor Funny Hell

Author:Chic Murray

“Alternate translation: Come brethren, if you have a mind to be ingrafted in the vine, It is a pity to see you lopped off in this manner From the stock. Reckon up the prelates in the very see of Peter; And in that order of fathers see which has succeeded which. This is the rock over which the proud gates of hell prevail not.”

Ifs Mind Order Father Hell Rocks Proud Pity Gates Peter Translations Vines Brethren Gates Of Hell

Author:Saint Augustine

“Sometimes I have visions of myself driving through hell, selling sulphur and brimstone, or through heaven peddling refreshments to the roaming souls. If me and the children I've got left could find a place where there's no shooting, I wouldn't mind a few years of peace and quiet.”

Ifs Years Mind Children Soul Sometimes Left Heaven Vision Hell Quiet Driving Selling Shooting Roaming Refreshments Peace And Quiet Peddling

Book:Collected Plays: The life of Galileo. The trial of Lucullus. Mother Courage and her children

Source: Collected Plays: The life of Galileo. The trial of Lucullus. Mother Courage and her children

“Yea, Paris is a festive ton -- a festive Ton for all! Skate o'er on joy -- Thin crust of gilded, polished joy! What matters it if Hell's beneath?”

Ifs Matter Joy Hell Paris What Matters Polished Skates Festive Gilded

Author:D. H. Lawrence

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." The adage is true as long as you don't really believe the words. But if your whole upbringing, and everything you have ever been told by parents, teachers and priests, has led you to believe, really believe, utterly and completely, that sinners burn in hell (or some other obnoxious article of doctrine such as that a woman is the property of her husband), it is entirely plausible that words could have a more long-lasting and damaging effect than deeds.”

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Hell Quotes