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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.”

Want Long Use Form Brain Humorous Ponds Irs

Author:Dave Barry

“I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.”

Brain Pieces Subjects Produce Paper Humorous Capacity Productions Defined Division Frontiers

Book:Plymouth Rock and the Pilgrims and other salutary platform opinions

Source: Plymouth Rock and the Pilgrims and other salutary platform opinions

“We are dealing with the best-educated generation in history. But they've got a brain dressed up with nowhere to go.”

Brain Education Learning Generations Humorous Educational Educated Dressed Up Nowhere To Go Feudalism Getting Dressed Up

Author:Timothy Leary

“Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party.”

Knows Humor Funny Party Brain Republican Humorous Democrat Suspects Republican Party Anti Conservative

Author:Walter Lippmann

“Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.”

Mind Humans Play Wisdom Humor Funny Brain Creativity Humour Activity Humorous Intelligence Significant Sense Of Humor Human Brain

Author:Edward de Bono

“My brain? It's my second favorite organ!”

Brain Humorous Witty Organs

Author:Woody Allen

“You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”

Brain Too Much Humorous Witty Rely Organs Manhattan Overrated

Author:Woody Allen

“Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.”

Heart Shows Young Brain Humorous Aging Conservative Show Me

Author:Winston Churchill

“You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.”

Knows Mean Seems Girl Brain Know How Personality Humorous Vocal Cords Paralysis Jeeves Vocal Cords Cauliflower

Book:Right Ho, Jeeves

Source: Right Ho, Jeeves

“Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.”

Men Heart Politics Powerful Brain Humorous Conservative Witty Eulogy

Author:Winston Churchill

“Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint.”

Humor Funny Brain Drink Humorous Shame Wine Drinking Alcohol Cells Occasions Neglect Restraint Embarrassment Liquor Good Sense Selective Refreshments Brain Cells

Book:Thrown Under the Omnibus

Source: Thrown Under the Omnibus

“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.”

Thinking Body Humor Funny Used Realizing Brain Wonderful Humour Humorous I Realized Comedian Irony Organs Realised

Author:Emo Philips

“Acid is not for every brain .... Only the healthy, happy, wholesome, handsome, hopeful, humorous, high-velocity should seek these experiences. This elitism is totally self-determined. Unless you are self-confident, self-directed, self-selected, please abstain.”

Should Self Brain Please Healthy Drug Humorous Determined Hopeful Handsome Acid Selected Velocity Elitism Self Confident Healthy Happy

Author:Timothy Leary

“I bet the human brain is a kludge”

Humans Brain Humorous Human Brain

Author:Marvin Minsky