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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“The Ruffed Pandanga of Borneo and Rotherham spreads out his feathers in his courtship dance and imitates Winston Churchill and Tommy Cooper on one leg. The padanga is dying out because the female padanga doesn't take it too seriously.”

Dying Humorous Female Legs Spread Feathers Courtship Borneo

Author:Mike Harding

“College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the trustees played. There would be a great increase in broken arms, legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the loss to humanity.”

Ifs Would Be Humanity Games Loss Interesting Students Football College Broken Arms Humorous Increase Legs Necks Faculty College Football Trustees

Author:H. L. Mencken

“And this is a table ma'am. What in essence it consists of is a horizontal rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports, which we call legs. The tables in this laboratory, ma'am, are as advanced in design as one will find anywhere in the world.”

World Support Four Design Humorous Essence Tables Legs Surface Planes Laboratory Vertical Horizontal

Author:Michael Frayn

“If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.”

Ifs Ideas Funny Form Humorous Affection Legs Boots Unrequited

Author:Charles Dickens

“Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.”

Men Humans Mean Funny Term Figures Mass Humorous Rate Legs Mortals Instant Retreat Adapted Advancing Spectacles Ignoble

Book:The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

Source: The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

“C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off.”

“"There are one or two elementary rules to be observed in the way of handling patients," he remarked, seating himself on the table and swinging his legs. "The most obvious is that you must never let them see that you want them. It should be pure condescension on your part seeing them at all; and the more difficulties you throw in the way of it, the more they think of it. Break your patients in early, and keep them well to heel."”

Source: ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE Ultimate Collection: 21 Novels, 188 Short Stories, 88 Poems & 7 Plays, Including Works on Spirituality, Historical Writings & Personal Memoirs (Illustrated): The Sherlock Holmes Series, The Professor Challenger Books, The Brigadier Gerard Stories, The White Company, The Great Shadow, Mystery of Cloomber, Beyond The City, A History of the Great War…