“Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs rot. Suddenly, lightning struck a nearby log and set it on fire. One of the cavemen stared at the fire for a few minutes, then said: Hey! Wood heat! The other cavemen, who did not understand English, immediately beat him to death with stones. But the key discovery had been made, and from that day forward, the cavemen had all the heat they needed, although their insurance rates went way up.” WayYearsMadeSaidMillionsFireGroupsMinutesKeysNeededBeatsHumorousSittingDiscoveryYears AgoStonesRateWoodsHeyHeatLightningDinosaursSitting AroundCavemenInsurance Rate Author:Dave Barry
“If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.” IfsProblemMotivationMoneyBusinessMillionsHumorousFinancialBankingFunny InspirationalBankersFunny MoneyFunny BusinessBankers And BanksBanks And MoneyInvestment BankingMoney ProblemBank RobberyFinancial Problems Author:J. Paul Getty
“No one can earn a million dollars honestly.” InspirationalTruthBeliefWealthMillionsHonestyHumorousDollarsWittyHonestlyDishonestyMillion DollarsBryan Author:William Jennings Bryan
“O Music! Miraculous art! A blast of thy trumpet and millions rush forward to die; a peal of thy organ and uncounted nations sink down to pray.” ArtFunnyDiesNationsMusicMillionsPrayingHumorousOrgansMiraculousBlastTrumpets Book:Vivian Grey Source: Vivian Grey
“This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts.” YearsHumorFunnyHoursMillionsRecordsFourAirFoodHumorousFedsAirlinePassengersPeanutsAir Travel Book:Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down Source: Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down
“America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking and pretty soon you get ideas, and then you get idealism, and the next thing you know you've got ideology, with millions dead in concentration camps and gulags.” ThinkingKnowsWayIdeasFunnyAmericaNextNationsMillionsHumorousIdeologyConcentrationCampsThank GodIdealismConcentration CampSneakyGulags Author:P. J. O'Rourke
“America is a nation of 270 million people: 100 million of them are gangsters, another 100 million are hustlers, 50 million are complete lunatics, and every single one of us is secretly in show business. Isn't that fabulous?” PeopleShowsFunnyAmericaNationsMillionsHumorousFabulousShow BusinessGangsters Book:Wild Ducks Flying Backward Source: Wild Ducks Flying Backward