Best party & humor Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose - for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.”

Humans Two Humor Seems Funny Purpose Human Beings Animal Party Greater Example Capacity Dinner Invention Boredom Bores Epic Metaphysics Dinner Party Epic Poems

Book:Minority Report

Source: Minority Report

“There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.”

Humor Funny Party Republican Humorous Vote Election Democratic Democrat Folks Tickets

Book:Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

Source: Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

“You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one”

Humor Funny Political Party Republican Humorous Democrat Optimist Humorists Political Jokes

Book:Radio broadcasts of Will Rogers

Source: Radio broadcasts of Will Rogers

“Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.”

Should Humor Funny Party Class Republican Humorous Should Have Democrat Rescue Oblivion Harvard

Author:Will Rogers

“The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the silliest thing I ever heard of in politics . . . Lord if they feel that way about it, I don't see why they don't just reverse the two words.”

Ifs Way Feels Two Humor Funny Names Party Lord Heard Republican Humorous Democrat Reverse Dams Hoover Hoover Dam

Book:Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

Source: Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

“Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.”

Men Humor Funny Black Walks Party Clothings Embarrassed Another Man Tuxedos

Author:Rita Rudner

“My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the - in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen.”

Has Beens Different Humor Happens Political Party Leader Violence Middle Involved Calling East Administration Middle East Political Humor

Author:George W. Bush

“It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.”

Humor Political President Party Vices Vice President Nominations Political Humor

Author:George W. Bush

“The Party System was founded on one national notion of fair play. It was the notion that folly and futility should be fairly divided between both sides.”

Should Play Humor Politics Sides Party Fairs Notion Folly Divided Both Sides Futility Fair Play

Author:Gilbert K. Chesterton

“You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling out names, "DuFresnes, party of two." They say again, "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll just go to the next name, "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! "Bush, search party of three!" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes!”

People Ifs Knows Two Humor Seems Care Funny Three Next Names Waiting Answers Party Happened Missing Calling Yeah Busy Lists Hungry Restaurants

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life in a different city.”

Different Humor Funny Next Names Party Cities Morning Mark Wake Up New Life Good Party

Author:Vance Bourjaily

“I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop - two days later.”

Two Ends Humor Funny Party Yeah Shops Stations Screws Sandwiches Subway Two Days

Author:Chelsea Handler

“I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.”

Humans War Humor Funny Human Beings White Party Support Wonderful Republican Members Rational Inclusion Troops

Author:David Cross

“An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."”

Said Humor Funny Party Bags Pairs Invited Englishmen Carols Hollies Irishmen Christmas Party Knickers Tinsel Scotsmen

Author:Frank Carson

“A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants."”

Men Humor Funny Party Fronts He Man Dresses Come Up Supposed To Be Fancy Pants Premature Ejaculation Premature Ejaculation

Author:Tommy Cooper

“My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.”

Humor Funny Night Party Couple Dinner Girlfriend Deaf My Girlfriend Dinner Party Good Fun Charades

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.”

Ideas Humor Funny Guy House Voice Hours Party Imagine Crazy Thousand Hundred Lonely Radio Good Times Roof Soothing Talk Radio Stacking Stir Crazy

Author:Adam Carolla

“Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.”

Humor Funny Party Hollywood Response Pizza Cocaine Gluten Gluten Free

Author:Natasha Leggero

“A fool and his money are soon partying.”

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