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Sexy Humor Quotes

Browse 76 quotes about Sexy Humor.

Sexy Humor Quotes

“Discharging cargo in the ports along the coast of South Africa went faster than loading it, but from Durban up to Dar es Salaam, hoping to save a little time not to mention port costs, we frequently did both at the same time, in these quaint little harbors along the coast, By now some of these ports had become old hat to me and so I volunteered to stay aboard. This way I could make some overtime pay by covering for some of the other mates, who wanted to go ashore. When we finally got to Dar es Salaam and I was informed that we would be there for a few days, I took advantage of the situation and finally went ashore. One of my favorite places in this British owned, colonial town was the “New Africa Hotel.“ It had an open air courtyard in the middle of the building, with wild monkeys swinging through the trees making loud blood curdling noises. Although the rooms were not air-conditioned, they were open to a constant breeze coming in off the Indian Ocean. In the 1950’s, all of the beds had mosquito netting to keep the pesky winged vampires out and to prevent getting malaria; which most of us got anyway.”

AfricaMosquitoesSea StoriesSexy HumorMma Captain Hank BrackerDar Es Salaam
Author:Captain Hank, "Seawater Three"
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“Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).”

HumorReligionPoliticsSexWomenRelationshipsChurchPleasureFamilyMarriageFeminismHumourHealthSelf LoveFeministEqualitySexualityAidsFakeSatireWeddingMisogynyEssaysHivPretenseGender EqualityMasturbationEssayOrgasmHiv AidsSexy HumorFamily PlanningCunnilingusFeministsChauvinismOrgasmsBlow JobSelf AbuseMisogynistMasturbateFellatioOnanismHiv And AidsBjChauvinistMisogynistsPolitical StatementChauvinistsPolitical Statements
Book:On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
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“It was masturbation, not willpower, that made it possible for gazillions of women to walk down the aisle with their reputation and their hymen still intact.”

HumorReligionSexRelationshipsChurchPleasureFamilyMarriageHumourHealthPrideSelf LoveDignitySexualityAidsParentsFakeWeddingEssaysHivPretenseVirginityMasturbationEssayOrgasmHiv AidsSexy HumorFamily PlanningVirginCunnilingusVowsOrgasmsBlow JobDignity QuotesSelf AbuseMasturbateFellatioOnanismHiv And AidsBjDignity Of WomenHymenSaire
Book:On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
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“Some women have been faking orgasms for so long that they sometimes fake one when they are masturbating.”

HumorReligionSexRelationshipsChurchPleasureFamilyMarriageHuman NatureHumourHealthHabitSexualityAidsFakeAbortionPregnancyWeddingEssaysHabitsHivPretenseMasturbationEssayOrgasmHiv AidsSexy HumorFamily PlanningCunnilingusOrgasmsBlow JobHabit QuotesMasturbateFellatioUnplanned PregnancyOnanismHiv And AidsBjSaire
Book:On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
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“If fate was life, then Lene should just stay with the “wife-beater”, because every man she hooked up with would beat her. I couldn’t believe that was true, for her or for me. I had to believe my shitty life wasn’t some prearranged hell I could never escape. I wasn’t doing the best with decisions, or money, or finding someone to love me, but I hoped I was finally on the road to controlling my ‘crazy’. And just to prove I had control, I was going to turn this train-wreck of a night around. I stood, zipped up my jeans, and kicked open the stall door. “I’m goin’ to par-tay!” I sang out loud. Party, but not get laid, I reminded myself.”

PartyAttitudeSexyRomance SexyStrong Female CharactersSexy HumorSupernatural RomanceSupernatural Thriller
Book:Girl Desecrated: Vampires, Asylums and Highlanders 1984
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“Did you want to change into something more comfortable?” Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my train of thought, but not away from naughty thoughts. I smack his knee. “I'm comfortable, but I know you're not.” He doesn't mind dressing up, but on most days I see him in casual clothes like screen-printed tees and hoodies. “You're right,” he says, tapping my knee lightly, standing up. As he walks toward the hallway, he slips his shirt off the rest of the way. I can't look away from the sight, even if it is only from the back. Damn. What is happening to me? Have I gone mad? Before I can tear my eyes away from him, he turns around. Judging by the look in his eyes, I've been caught. I have so been caught. Damn again. I didn't want him to see me practically drooling. It's too late for that now. He smirks. “You know, I could spend the rest of the night just like this.” He places a hand to the hard muscles of his chest. I clear my throat, trying really hard not to imagine my hand in place of his, and say, “If I'm wearing clothes, you're wearing clothes.” “So if I'm not wearing clothes...” I grab a coaster from the coffee table and fling it at him. He catches it in his hand. “Just remember, all you have to do is say otherwise.”

LoveHumorFunnySexyLove StorySensualNaughtyRomantic ComedySexy HumorSexy MenRomance FunnyNaughty ThoughtsSexual Innuendos
Book:Here All Along
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“She had no idea how long they kissed—and kissed—but she didn’t think about stopping until she ran out of air. Breathing hard, she slowly opened her eyes and stared directly into his. They’d heated. Darkened. And something else. He wasn’t looking so relaxed now. In fact, he was looking the opposite of relaxed. He looked…feral. And she was his prey.”

HumorFunnyRomanceSexyEroticaRomance NovelAlpha HeroOnce In A LifetimeSexy HumorShalvis
Book:Once in a Lifetime
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“Forgetting herself, she turned toward him and her eyes bulged. “You’re naked!” “It’s what one tends to do in their home when it’s time to sleep,” he growled, now beginning to visibly get upset. And it seemed the more upset he got, the harder he got. His cock was long and quickly turning rigid. She tried to look away without seeming like it affected her, but she knew her eyes were enormous in her face and her heart was definitely doing a strange stuttering. “Stop acting like such a virgin. This isn’t for you.”

HumorSexy HumorMarie HallDeath S Redemption
Book:Death's Redemption
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