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Alan Coren

Alan Coren Biography

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“In the days when the keepers of the house shall tremble, and the strong men shall bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened, I know one boy who won't be sweating. I intend to raise my coffin-lid briskly, throw a few things into an overnight bag, and, whistling something appropriate, prepare to meet my Maker.”

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Book:The dog it was that died
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“The word "souvenir" has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless; but even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.”

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Book:Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks: The Essential Alan Coren
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“Sadly, as with so much about history's heroes, it's the spotting of potential fame that's the difficulty, whether it's publishing their poems, hanging their paintings, or buying their old underwear. Think of the great men whose lives passed in penury and hacking coughs due to public unawareness that their littlest possession would end up at Sothebys or the basement at Fort Knox.”

ThinkingMenEndsPaintingHeroFameDifficultyPossessionDuesGreat MenBuyingPublishingUnderwearBasementsHackingFortsUnawareness
Book:Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks: The Essential Alan Coren
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“English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit. ... Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds, kumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden, English bohemians sit in cold orderly rows, like carrots.”

PassionSweetFlowerHugeColdBedGardenCrossesWindowFruitWarmKitchenAbandonSlidesNeatOrderlyCarrotsLotusesPoppiesSweatingOrchids
Author:Alan Coren
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“Can anything match that first fine discovery of the telephone and all it stood for? That first realization that, contained within ten simple digits, lay the infinitely possible? Out there ... lay six billion ears, all the people in the world available for contact and mystery and insult, unable to resist the beckoning of one small and villainous forefinger.”

PeopleWorldFirstsSimpleMysteryFineTenSixDiscoveryEarsLaysAvailableBillionsContactRealizationInsultTelephonesBeckoning
Book:Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks: The Essential Alan Coren
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