“The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships; it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.” ThinkingFeelsLittlesKidsRaceAdviceYouthCuteLittle Kid Author:Daniel Tosh
“Am I the only person who hopes that David Beckham has sex with Brad Pitt? I don't know who's in charge of casting in Hollywood, but make it happen before one of them is out of their prime. Can you imagine those two men together making love? If there's a man in here that's junk doesn't wiggle just a little bit at the thought of those two men together - this has nothing to do with your homophobic sexual preference. At that level it's art, you monkey. You should be honored that you share the same restroom with those Greek gods.” IfsKnowsMenShouldLittlesPersonsArtTwoHappensTogetherSexBitsLevelsImagineShareLittle BitHollywoodGreekPrimeMaking LoveMonkeysHonoredPreferenceCastingJunkMake It HappenBradHomophobicBeckhamRestroomGreek God Author:Daniel Tosh
“I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'” PeopleThinkingWantLittlesSportsBlackHolyBlack PeopleCowsBobAnnouncers Author:Daniel Tosh
“I think boxers are the greatest athletes in all sports for the simple fact that they don't cry. That is mind-blowing. Have you ever been punched in the nose? Oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. They have to go back to corner, where some little man yells at them. 'Shut up, I just got punched in the face!'... If I was a boxer, do you know who I would hire as my corner man? My mom.” IfsThinkingKnowsMenMindLittlesFactsFacesSportsHurtSimpleCryMomAthleteCornersMy MomNosesDo You KnowShut UpIt HurtsBoxersMind BlowingLittle ManGreatest AthleteOh My Gosh Author:Daniel Tosh
“I always wondered if those WWJD bracelets worked, so I bought one the other day. Well, a few minutes later, I was on a plane and this little kid was kicking my seat repeatedly, while his sister sang along with her walkman and their mother just sat there. I almost turned around and went off, and then I caught sight of my bracelet. What would Jesus do? So I lit them on fire and sent them all to Hell.” IfsWellsLittlesKidsMotherJesusHellFireMinutesSightCaughtPlanesSatSeatsLitLittle KidKickingBracelet Author:Daniel Tosh
“I'll do anything usually if there's money involved and little work.” IfsLittlesInvolved Author:Daniel Tosh
“I guess it could be seen as a form of rebellion, but (my dad) is pretty supportive. He's knows I'm just an idiot, so I think that softens it a little bit.” ThinkingKnowsLittlesFormBitsDadLittle BitMy DadIdiotRebellionSupportive Author:Daniel Tosh
