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Daniel Tosh

Daniel Tosh Quotes

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Famous Daniel Tosh Quotes

“Am I the only person who hopes that David Beckham has sex with Brad Pitt? I don't know who's in charge of casting in Hollywood, but make it happen before one of them is out of their prime. Can you imagine those two men together making love? If there's a man in here that's junk doesn't wiggle just a little bit at the thought of those two men together - this has nothing to do with your homophobic sexual preference. At that level it's art, you monkey. You should be honored that you share the same restroom with those Greek gods.”

IfsKnowsMenShouldLittlesPersonsArtTwoHappensTogetherSexBitsLevelsImagineShareLittle BitHollywoodGreekPrimeMaking LoveMonkeysHonoredPreferenceCastingJunkMake It HappenBradHomophobicBeckhamRestroomGreek God
Author:Daniel Tosh
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“I think boxers are the greatest athletes in all sports for the simple fact that they don't cry. That is mind-blowing. Have you ever been punched in the nose? Oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. They have to go back to corner, where some little man yells at them. 'Shut up, I just got punched in the face!'... If I was a boxer, do you know who I would hire as my corner man? My mom.”

IfsThinkingKnowsMenMindLittlesFactsFacesSportsHurtSimpleCryMomAthleteCornersMy MomNosesDo You KnowShut UpIt HurtsBoxersMind BlowingLittle ManGreatest AthleteOh My Gosh
Author:Daniel Tosh
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“Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose), reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with.”

MenWritingImportantCountryRunningPurposeReadingFunStuffCan DoDecisionListeningBandMathDrivingChessMaking MoneyFishingMapsHanging OutTallHockeyJumpingGarbageSurfingLiftingInventingFixingMaking DecisionsBeing FunnyTippingGood BandsFixing Things
Author:Daniel Tosh
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