“Sure I may look adjusted, but I can't function in normal society because most of you are too stupid.” LooksMayI CanStupidNormalFunction Author:Daniel Tosh
“If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?” IfsKnowsFirstsLooksGardenAdamEdenAdam And EveFirst LadyGarden Of Eden Author:Daniel Tosh
“I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.” WantLooksFacesCuttingPersonalityStaples Author:Daniel Tosh
“I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.” WantLooksShowsHumorFunnyFacesCuttingPersonalityAppearanceExtremesPlasticSurgeryPlastic SurgeryStaplesOuter Appearance Author:Daniel Tosh
“It's funny... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's like the one thing... the line you are not to cross.” IfsLooksFunnyFunLinesOne ThingJokesCrossesHollywoodAidsHaitiStarlets Author:Daniel Tosh
“Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.” WellsLooksTwoHumorFunnyGirlGamesBoysMorningTakenHeardBedJokesBirdDiedBreakfastWeekendPillsMorning AfterTwo BirdsBreakfast In Bed Author:Daniel Tosh
