“There's no excuse for domestic violence. It sounds like a challenge. I mean, does everything have to be so black-and-white in this kindergarten country of ours? What if you come home from a long day at work and your wife has drowned two of your kids - she's about to dunk the third one. Can you run over and pop her then? Unfortunately no, there's no excuse. You're going to have to let her drown that third one.” IfsMeanLongDoeTwoCountryHomeRunningKidsSoundBlackChallengesWhiteWifeViolenceThirdsExcusePopsWhat IfComing HomeBlack And WhiteDomestic ViolenceNo ExcusesKindergartenLong DayExcuse You Author:Daniel Tosh
“A white lady came running up to me after a show. She goes, What gives you the right to do jokes about black people like that. And I'm like, Listen lady, my best friend is Cuban. And that's close enough.” PeopleGivingEnoughShowsRunningBlackWhiteJokesBlack PeopleMy Best FriendCuban Author:Daniel Tosh
“Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.” KidsBlackRacismRacist Author:Daniel Tosh
“I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'” PeopleThinkingWantLittlesSportsBlackHolyBlack PeopleCowsBobAnnouncers Author:Daniel Tosh
“Racing does to white guys what movies do to black guys.” DoeGuyBlackWhiteRacingWhite GuysBlack Guys Author:Daniel Tosh
“You never see anyone wearing a black turtleneck and leather jacket doing something nice.” BlackNiceJacketsLeatherLeather JacketsTurtlenecks Author:Daniel Tosh
“I mean my goal is to get Michael Richards to do stand up at the Laugh Factory to an all black audience.” MeanGoalBlackAudienceLaughingFactoriesAll Black Author:Daniel Tosh
“We'll put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds' name, sure, as soon as we put one next to Babe Ruth's name. Getting to break records before black people were allowed to play? Excuse me, where is that asterisk?” PeoplePlayNextNamesBlackBreakRecordsExcuseBlack PeopleBabeExcuse MeRuth Author:Daniel Tosh
