“I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.” ThinkingShouldHumorFunnyYeahRainbowNailsBeardFlingFrisbee Author:Dylan Moran
“You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!” ShouldHumorFunnyAlive Author:Dylan Moran
“You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.” PeopleKnowsWayShouldMatterTalkingAudienceComedyIntelligentAssumingGood TimesHaving A Good Time Author:Dylan Moran
“It's such a bullshit move. Transparently so. It's obviously supposed to give succor to people who feel pissed off because someone from another country got a job that they feel should've been given to them. But that's what people voted against here. They voted against the movement of labor - that kind of fluidity - because they want a Britain that no longer exists, and they can't get it.” PeopleWantGivingFeelsShouldKindCountryJobsMovingGivenMovementLaborBritainBullshitPissed OffFluidity Author:Dylan Moran
“You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.” ShouldPlease Author:Dylan Moran
“I don't go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know?” KnowsShouldDifferentCountryPoliticalPolitical SystemsDifferent CountriesCriticise Author:Dylan Moran
“Stand-up came naturally to me because people in Ireland talk. But that's not talking on panel shows; it is structured fun. It reminds me of some tragic aunt clapping her hands and bouncing into a room and announcing we should all play games... and if we don't we are all a rotten spoilsport.” PeopleIfsShouldPlayShowsHandsGamesFunRoomsTalkingTragicIrelandAuntRottenNot TalkingAnnouncingClapping Author:Dylan Moran
“So here are some foolproof recipes for those of you who understand the true function of food. Bean Treat: Gingerly pour four fluid oz of beans or something into a jug. Cry. Eat the beans from the jug and pour the rest from the can down your throat. N.B. These taste better if they belong to somebody else in your house. Pain au Dunk: Fists of bread, rent from the loaf and dunked into anything runnier than bread. Should eat at least six of these because…you should. Don’t toast the bread. Toast is cookery.” IfsShouldPainHouseFourCryTasteSixTreatsFunctionBreadThroatRecipesFistsFluidBeansToastsCookeryJugsFoolproof Author:Dylan Moran
“It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.” ShouldHumorLightFunnySocialDoctorsCigaretteDisobedience Author:Dylan Moran
