“I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.” TryingKindTermGet AwayCheeseTailsMiceEnvelopes Author:Emo Philips
“When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny.” TryingKidsAmericaGuyWhiteSeriousGoodnessBunchSuitsCorporateGrayWhite GuysCorporate America Author:Emo Philips
“I try not to talk during the day when I have a show that night. My voice is my instrument, just like a saxophonist's instrument is his saxophone, plus also his voice, if he's the one between tunes that makes announcements.” IfsTryingShowsNightVoiceInstrumentsTunesPlusSaxophoneAnnouncements Author:Emo Philips
“I used to think I knew everything, but older you get the more you see other areas. If you could read everything about both sides, you'll pretty much be in the middle again, which is the state you had when you were totally ignorant. So my theory is if you maintain total ignorance - which isn't easy, but I try - you'll be just as far ahead as if you'd spent days and days reading about the whole issue. And you have that much extra time to play Pac-man.” IfsThinkingMenTryingStatesPlayWholeUsedReadingEasySidesIssuesMiddleIgnoranceTheoryAreasIgnorantExtrasBoth SidesPacsExtra Time Author:Emo Philips
“Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until you get there. Not one comedian in the world ever really knows.” IfsThinkingKnowsWorldTryingHardEasyStageJokesComedian Author:Emo Philips
“My girlfriend said, Emo, I'm seeing another man. I said, Well, try rubbing your eyes or something.” MenTryingWellsSaidEyeSeeingGirlfriendAnother ManMy GirlfriendEmo Author:Emo Philips
“I'm very religious, you know. Now, OK, if by 'religious', you mean that I go to church every Sunday, read the bible faithfully, and I listen to Debbie Boone, umm, I'm not religious in that sense... But if by 'religious' you mean that I love others and try to help them whenever possible... Again, no. But if by 'religious' you mean that I like to eat coleslaw... Yeah, OK, OK!” IfsKnowsTryingMeanHelpingChurchReligiousYeahSunday Author:Emo Philips
“I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.” TryingNightComedyLuckyBarsGumHopping Author:Emo Philips
