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Famous Emo Philips Quotes
“How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.”
“Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.”
“I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.”
“I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.”
“My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.”
“Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'”
“He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.”
“I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"”
“People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.”
“Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?”