“My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid...and her nose was shot off by French soldiers.” EternalShotsSoldierSexyMysteriousNosesGirlfriendExesSphinxEx Girlfriend Author:Emo Philips
“Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.” GirlfriendRestaurantsChairsMy GirlfriendForks Author:Emo Philips
“I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him.” ThinkingKnowsEvilLessonsDevilGirlfriendExesEx Girlfriend Author:Emo Philips
“My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don't even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.” NeedsSaidCrazyGirlfriendExpensiveTreatmentRadiationMy Girlfriend Author:Emo Philips
“My girlfriend said, Emo, I'm seeing another man. I said, Well, try rubbing your eyes or something.” MenTryingWellsSaidEyeSeeingGirlfriendAnother ManMy GirlfriendEmo Author:Emo Philips
“I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'” SaidHumorFunnyAsksFatherComedyGirlfriendHelloMy GirlfriendMarry MeRubiesWill You Marry Me Author:Emo Philips
“My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.” MenEyeRelationshipSeeingGirlfriendHer EyesAnother ManMy GirlfriendNaughtyRelationships With OthersFunny Valentine Author:Emo Philips
