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Famous Jim Gaffigan Quotes
“Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.”
“I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin.”
“My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'”
“I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.”
“The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.”
“I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana - mafia.”
“I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.”