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Judith Martin

Judith Martin Quotes

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Famous Judith Martin Quotes

“In its natural state, the child tells the literal truth because it is too naive to think of anything else. Blurting out the complete truth is considered adorable in the young, right smack up to the moment that the child says, 'Mommy, is this the fat lady you can't stand?”

ThinkingChildrenStatesMomentsYoungNaturalHonestyTruth IsFatsNaiveLiteralAdorableSmack
Book:Miss Manners' guide to rearing perfect children
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“It is a widespread and firm belief among guests that their departure is always a matter of distress to their hosts, and that in order to indicate that they have been pleasantly entertained, they must demonstrate an extreme unwillingness to allow the entertainment to conclude. This is not necessarily true.”

Has BeensMatterOrderBeliefEntertainmentExtremesFirmHostGuestsDistressHospitalityDepartureFirm Beliefs
Book:Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium
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“Visiting the sick is supposed to exhibit such great virtue that there are some people determined to do it whether the sick like it or not. ... All visitors everywhere are supposed to make plans to depart if they observe their hosts visibly wilting or in pain, but this is especially true at hospitals.”

PeopleIfsPainVirtuePlansSickIllnessDeterminedHospitalsHostExhibitsVisitingVisitorsWilting
Book:Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility
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“The whole country wants civility. Why don't we have it? It doesn't cost anything. No federal funding, no legislation is involved. One answer is the unwillingness to restrain oneself. Everybody wants other people to be polite to them, but they want the freedom of not having to be polite to others.”

PeopleWantCountryWholeFreedomAnswersInvolvedCostOneselfEqualityMannersWillingnessLegislationPoliteInvolvementFundingCivilityPolitenessCivil SocietyRestraining
Author:Judith Martin
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“Like language, a code of manners can be used with more or less skill, for laudable or for evil purposes, to express a great variety of ideas and emotions. In itself, it carries no moral value, but ignorance in use of this tool is not a sign of virtue.”

IdeasUseUsedPurposeValuesEvilLanguageEmotionMoralVirtueIgnoranceSkillsToolsVarietyMannersCodeCarrieMoral Values
Book:Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson
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“I have always believed that the key to a happy marriage was the ability to say with a straight face, 'Why, I don't know what you're worrying about. I thought you were very funny last night and I'm sure everybody else did, too.”

KnowsLastsFacesNightAbilityWorryKeysLast NightAlways BelieveHappy MarriageStraight Face
Book:Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson
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“Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms.”

PeopleKnowsWayWantFeelsKindPersonsFormLawSocialCausesMissingOughtBehaviorShameResponseSeekingAcceptedReactionsAll KindsMannersNastySymptomsJustifiedDiscomfortEtiquetteDisregardedTreating OthersMiss Manners
Book:Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility
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“From Memorial Day to Labor Day, you may wear white shoes. Not before and not after. As a command, the White Shoe Edict should be clear and simple enough. Do not violate it. In a society in which everything else has become relative, a matter of how it makes you feel, a question between you and your conscience, and an opportunity for you to be really you, this is an absolute.”

FeelsShouldMayMatterEnoughOpportunitySimpleWhiteClearConscienceLaborAbsolutesShoesCommandRelativeMemorialMemorial DayLabor DayWhite Shoes
Book:Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium
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“Screening telephone calls with a receptionist or the humbler answering machine is not a dishonorable thing to do. The warmest people in the world still need uninterrupted time to attend to their lives and should not be outwitted if they have made it obvious that they are not always available upon summons.”

PeopleIfsWorldNeedsShouldMadeStillsMachinesObviousAvailableMade ItThings To DoTelephonesScreeningAnswering MachinesDishonorableReceptionists
Author:Judith Martin
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“It is not rude to turn off your telephone by switching it on to an answering machine, which is cheaper and less disruptive than ripping it out of the wall. Those who are offended because they cannot always get through when they seek, at their own convenience, to barge in on people are suffering from a rude expectation.”

PeopleSufferingTurnsWallExpectationsMachinesRudeTelephonesOffendedConvenienceCheaperTurn OffDisruptiveSwitchingAnswering MachinesBarges
Book:Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium
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“Knowing that others have gone through similar tragedies may be a help, but it should be remembered that every tragedy is not only commonplace but also unique.”

ShouldMayHelpingGoneKnowingUniqueTragedyRememberedCommonplace
Book:Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility
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“Precision marching is less important for the bridal party than maintaining the proper facial expresssions: The bridegroom must look awed; the bridesmaids, happy and excited; the father of the bride, proud; and the bride, demure. If the bridegroom feels doubtful, the bridesmaids, sulky, the father, worried, and the bride, blasé, nobody wants to know.”

IfsKnowsWantFeelsLooksImportantFatherPartyProudExcitedWorriedMaintainingBridesPrecisionDoubtfulFacialBridalBridegroomBridesmaidsSulkyDemureFather Of The Bride
Book:Miss Manners on Weddings
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“One should not be assigned one's identity in society by the job slot one happens to fill. If we truly believe in the dignity of labor, any task can be performed with equal pride because none can demean the basic dignity of a human being.”

IfsShouldBelieveHumansHappensJobsWorkHuman BeingsIdentityPrideEqualLaborDignityTasks
Book:Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson
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“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without a comment is a wonderful social grace ... Children who have the habit of constantly correcting should be stopped before they grow up to drive spouses and everyone else crazy by interrupting stories to say, 'No, dear -- it was Tuesday, not Wednesday.”

ShouldChildrenStoriesSocialGrowsMistakeGrowing UpGraceWonderfulCrazyHabitDearAllowingCommentSpouseUnimportantTuesdayWednesdayCorrectingInterruptingSocial Graces
Author:Judith Martin
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“Should you happen to notice that another person is extremely tall or overweight, eats too much or declines convivial drinks, has red hair or goes about in a wheelchair, ought to get married or ought not to be pregnant -- see if you can refrain from bringing these astonishing observations to that person's attention.”

IfsShouldPersonsHappensAttentionToo MuchHairOughtDrinkMarriedRedObservationTallDeclinePregnantAstonishingRefrainOverweightWheelchairsRed Hair
Author:Judith Martin
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“The pejorative term "political correctness" was adapted to express disapproval of the enlargement of etiquette to cover all people, in spite of this being a principle to which all Americans claim to subscribe.”

PeoplePoliticalTermPrinciplesClaimsSpiteEtiquettePolitical CorrectnessAdaptedCorrectnessDisapprovalEnlargement
Book:Star-Spangled Manners: In Which Miss Manners Defends American Etiquette (For a Change)
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“There was no singles problem until singles got so single-minded that they stopped wasting time with anyone ineligible. Before that, it was understood that one of society's main tasks was matchmaking. People with lifelong friendships and ties to local nonprofessional organizations did not have to fear that isolation would accompany retirement, old age, or losing a spouse. Overburdened householders could count on the assistance not only of their own extended families, but of the American tradition of neighborliness.”

PeopleProblemAgeCommunityLosingUnderstoodTraditionTasksOrganizationLocalsOld AgeTiesIsolationRetirementWasting TimeSpouseAssistanceLifelongAccompanySinglesExtended FamilyAmerican Tradition
Author:Judith Martin
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