“Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.”
Filter quotes by topic
Famous Roseanne Barr Quotes
“two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.”
“Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.”
Source: Roseanne: my life as a woman
“Being nuts is its own reward.”
Source: Roseanne: my life as a woman
Source: Roseanne: my life as a woman
Source: Roseannearchy: Dispatches from the Nut Farm
“I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.”
Source: Roseanne: my life as a woman
“I'm a heterosexual. I don't know why I'm like this. I was just born this way.”
“I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.”
Source: Roseannearchy: Dispatches from the Nut Farm
“You know what, when I was thin, I thought there was a fat girl trying to get out of me.”
Source: Roseanne: my life as a woman
Source: Roseanne: my life as a woman
“Suddenly, people had three phone numbers but never answered their phones.”
Source: Roseannearchy: Dispatches from the Nut Farm
Source: Roseannearchy: Dispatches from the Nut Farm
“In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.”
“I can't have cats around me because they try to steal my energy.”
“My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.”
“There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.”