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Virginia Woolf

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“Bu sevgi denen şey öyle güzel, öyle heyecanlı ki, onun tam kıyısına gelmiş, tir tir titriyor ve hiç de yaptığım yapacağım şey değilken kumsallarda broş aramaya gitmek istiyorum: yine bu aynı sevgi insan tutkularının en anlamsızı, en barbarıdır. Ama yine de insanlara sorsanız on kişiden dokuzu bize yalnız onu verin yeter der. Oysa ki kadınlar, bunu kendi deneylerinden biliyordu, böyle derken asıl istediklerinin bu olmadığını pekala hissederlerdi. Hissederlerdi ki sevgiden daha sıkıcı, daha çocukça, daha acımasız bir şey yoktur; ama yine de güzeldir ve onsuz olmaz. Öyleyse?”

“Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.”

“Here she tossed her foot impatiently, and showed an inch or two of calf. A sailor on the mast, who happened to look down at the moment, started so violently that he missed his footing and only saved himself by the skin of his teeth. 'If the sight of my ankles means death to an honest fellow who, no doubt, has a wife and family to support, I must, in all humanity, keep them covered,' Orlando thought. Yet her legs were among her chieftest beauties. And she fell to thinking what an odd pass we have come to when all a woman's beauty has to be kept covered lest a sailor fall from a mast-head. 'A pox on them!' she said, realizing for the first time what, in other circumstances, she would have been taught as a child, that is to say, the sacred responsibilities of womanhood...”

“These selves of which we are built up, one on top of another, as plates are piled on a waiter's hand, have attachments elsewhere, sympathies, little constitutions and rights of their own, call them what you will (and for many of these things there is no name) so that one will only come if it is raining, another in a room with green curtains, another when Mrs Jones is not there, another if you can promis it a glass of wine —and so on; for verybody can multiply from his own experience the different terms which his different selves have made with him—and some are too wildly ridiculous to be mentioned in print at all.”

“At length the colour on her cheeks resumed its stability and it seemed as if the spirit of the age—if such indeed it were—lay dormant for a time. Then Orlando felt in the bosom of her shirt as if for some locket or relic of lost affection, and drew out no such thing, but a roll of paper, sea-stained, blood-stained, travel-stained—the manuscript of her poem, 'The Oak Tree'. She had carried this about with her for so many years now, and in such hazardous circumstances, that many of the pages were stained, some were torn, while the straits she had been in for writing paper when with the gipsies, had forced her to overscore the margins and cross the lines till the manuscript looked like a piece of darning most conscientiously carried out. She turned back to the first page and read the date, 1586, written in her own boyish hand. She had been working at it for close three hundred years now. It was time to make an end. Meanwhile she began turning and dipping and reading and skipping and thinking as she read, how very little she had changed all these years. She had been a gloomy boy, in love with death, as boys are; and then she had been amorous and florid; and then she had been sprightly and satirical; and sometimes she had tried prose and sometimes she had tried drama. Yet through all these changes she had remained, she reflected, fundamentally the same.”

“The sound of the trumpets died away and Orlando stood stark naked. No human being since the world began, has ever looked more ravishing. His form combined in one the strength of a man and a woman’s grace. As he stood there, silver trumpets prolonged their note, as if reluctant to leave the lovely sight which their blast had called forth; and Chastity, Purity, and Modesty, inspired, no doubt, by Curiosity, peeped in at the door and threw a garment like a towel at the naked form which, unfortunately, fell short by several inches. Orlando looked at himself up and down in a long looking-glass, without showing any signs of discompose, and went presumably, to his bath. We many take advantage of this pause in the narrative to make certain statements. Orlando had become a woman - there is no denying it. But in every other respect, Orlando remained precisely as he had been. The change in sex, though it altered their future, did nothing whatever to alter their identity. Their faces remained, as their portraits prove, practically the same. His memory - but in the future we must, for convention’s sake, say ‘her’ for ‘his’, and ‘she’ for ‘he’ - her memory then, went back through all the events of her past life without encountering any obstacle. Some slight haziness there may have been, as if a few dark spots had fallen into the clear pool of memory; certain things had become a little dimmed; but that was all. The change seemed to have been accomplished painlessly and completely and in such a way that Orlando herself showed no surprise at it. Many people, taking this into account, and holding that such a change in sex is against nature, have been at great pains to prove (1) that Orlando has always been a woman, (2) that Orlando is at this moment a man. Let biologists and psychologists determine. It is enough for us to state the simple fact; Orlando was a man till the age of thirty; when he became a woman and has remained so ever since.”

“The taste for books was an early one. As a child he was sometimes found at midnight by a page still reading. They took his taper away, and he bred glow-worms to serve his purpose. They took the glow-worms away, and he almost burnt the house down with a tinder. To put it in a nutshell, leaving the novelist to smooth out the crumpled silk and all its implications, he was a nobleman afflicted with a love of literature. Many people of his time, still more of his rank, escaped the infection and were thus free to run or ride or make love at their own sweet will. But some were early infected by a germ said to be bred of the pollen of the asphodel and to be blown out of Greece and Italy, which was of so deadly a nature that it would shake the hand as it was raised to strike, and cloud the eye as it sought its prey, and make the tongue stammer as it declared its love. It was the fatal nature of this disease to substitute a phantom for reality, so that Orlando, to whom fortune had given every gift--plate, linen, houses, men-servants, carpets, beds in profusion--had only to open a book for the whole vast accumulation to turn to mist. The nine acres of stone which were his house vanished; one hundred and fifty indoor servants disappeared; his eighty riding horses became invisible; it would take too long to count the carpets, sofas, trappings, china, plate, cruets, chafing dishes and other movables often of beaten gold, which evaporated like so much sea mist under the miasma. So it was, and Orlando would sit by himself, reading, a naked man.”

“She remembered how, as a young man, she had insisted that women must be obedient, chaste, scented, and exquisitely apparelled. "Now I shall have to pay in my own person for those desires," she reflected; "for women are not (judging by my own short experience of the sex) obedient, chaste, scented, and exquisitely apparelled by nature. They can only attain these graces, without which they may enjoy none of the delights of life, by the most tedious discipline. There's the hairdressing," she thought, "that alone will take an hour of my morning, there's looking in the looking-glass, another hour; there's staying and lacing; there's washing and powdering; there's changing from silk to lace and from lace to paduasoy; there's being chaste year in and year out...”

“What made the process still longer was that it was profusely illustrated, not only with pictures, as that of old Queen Elizabeth, laid on her tapestry couch in rose-coloured brocade with an ivory snuff-box in her hand and a gold-hilted sword by her side, but with scents — she was strongly perfumed — and with sounds; the stags were barking in Richmond Park that winter’s day. And so, the thought of love would be all ambered over with snow and winter; with log fires burning; with Russian women, gold swords, and the bark of stags; with old King James’ slobbering and fireworks and sacks of treasure in the holds of Elizabethan sailing ships. Every single thing, once he tried to dislodge it from its place in his mind, he found thus cumbered with other matter like the lump of glass which, after a year at the bottom of the sea, is grown about with bones and dragon-flies, and coins and the tresses of drowned women.”

“სულ არ მადარდებს, თუკი არც ერთ სულიერს აღარ შევხვდები ჩემს სიცოცხლეში! შეჰყვირა და ცრემლად დაიღვარა. უთვალავი მოტრფიალე ჰყავდა, მაგრამ ცხოვრება, რომელმაც, კაცმა რომ თქვას, ხომ უნდა შეიძინოს რაღაც მნიშვნელობა, გაურბოდა მას, – ნუთუ ეს არის? – იკითხა, ოღონდ არავინ ეგულებოდა პასუხის გამცემი, – ნუთუ ეს არის, – მაინც დაამთავრა სათქმელი, – რასაც ადამიანები სიცოცხლეს უწოდებენ?”

“Was not writing poetry a secret transaction, a voice answering a voice? So that all this chatter and praise and blame and meeting people who admired one and did not admire one was as ill suited as could be to the thing itself—a voice answering a voice. What could have been more secret, she thought, more slow, and like the intercourse of lovers, than the stammering answer she had made all these years to the old crooning song of the woods, and the farms and the brown horses standing at the gate, neck to neck, and the smithy and the kitchen and the fields, so laboriously bearing wheat, turnips, grass, and the garden blowing irises and fritillaries?”

“El lector que haya intimado con las severidades del trabajo de redactar no necesitará pormenores: cómo escribió y le pareció bueno; releyó y le pareció vil: corrigió y rompió; omitió; agregó, conoció el éxtasis, la desesperación; tuvo sus buenas noches y sus malas mañanas; atrapó ideas y las perdió; vio su libro concluido y se le borró; personificó sus héroes mientras comía; los declamó al salir a caminar; rió y lloró; vaciló entre uno y otro estilo; prefirió a veces el heroico y pomposo; otras el directo y sencillo; otras los valles de Tempe; otras los campos de Kent o de Cornwall; y no llegó nunca a saber si era el genio más sublime o el mayor mentecato de la tierra.”

“Tal vez escribir cartas a una mujer sea como […]. Creo que, al enfriar la emoción con lenguaje, las cartas de amor sin amor logran con mayor éxito la contención que vuelve carne y fluido el delirio amoroso. Virginia espera dejar atrás la cama y retomar su batalla contra el mundo: «Y no estás aquí para transformarme». ¿Qué único poder debería tener una mujer sobre otra sino el de transformarla? ¿Os suena de algo, señora? En sus cartas Virginia le reclama a Vita que la acuse de no tener sentimientos o de inventarse «frases encantadoras» que «le restan aspectos a la realidad». Sobra vida en Vita”. [...] ¿Qué puedo decir sobre eso sino sentirme más Vita que Virginia y a veces más Virginia que Vita? ¿En cuál de ellas se reconoce usted? Virginia insiste en que ella intenta decir lo que siente. Pero entiendo que no sea suficiente para Vita, que busca algo más. Woolf aúlla por historias frescas. Y Vita las tiene, las genera, las encarna. [...] Todo lo que latió en el encuentro entre estas dos mujeres, pero lo que se recordará será un gran libro, mi bien, otro libro de Virginia Woolf (y este puñado de cartas como anexo, un mapa alternativo de lectura). Ningún libro de Vita. Que salió a juguetear en los bosques con Mary Campbell, con Mary Carmichael o Mary Seton, mientras Virginia parecía celebrar sus trucos y reírle las gracias con deleite: «Ninguna de esas soy yo, maldita seas. En fin». Tan distante, tan razonable, tan, en fin, europea” [...] Perdone que me desvíe con asuntos mundanos. Perdone que centre todo en el amor. Es verdad, parece un vicio sentir y resentir que haya sido una mujer la que derribara más muros que nadie [...] Quizá solo he querido regalarle estas cartas para invitarla a poner una vela en el altar fascinante de la creación colaborativa que es la pasión lésbica, tan parecida al deseo por una misma. Dígame por favor si me invento este romance porque entonces saldré a celebrarlo. Su burra Gabriela W.”

“Żadna epoka nie była tak uporczywie zaabsorbowana kwestią płci, jak obecna; dowodzą tego niezliczone książki o kobietach, pisane przez mężczyzn, jakie znalazłam w British Museum. Z pewnością winny jest ruch sufrażystek. Musiał on wzniecić w mężczyznach przemożną potrzebę, by jakoś zaznaczyć swoją obecność; zmusił ich do tego, by położyli nacisk na swoją własną płeć i jej cechy szczególne, czego nie zrobiliby przecież nigdy, gdyby nie rzucono im wyzwania. Kiedy bowiem ktoś rzuca nam wyzwanie - nawet jeśli jest to zaledwie kilka kobiet w czarnych kapeluszach - wówczas i my atakujemy; jeśli zaś spotyka nas to po raz pierwszy w życiu, atakujemy w sposób nieco przesadny.”

“Cine poate ști ce suntem, ce simțim? Cine poate ști, chiar în momentul percepției intime” dacă aceasta era cunoașterea?”Nu-i așa că ratăm lucrurile de îndată ce încercăm să le exprimăm?”(...) Nu spunem mai mult prin tăcere? Cel puțin momentul acela părea de o extraordinară rodnicie. Scobise o gropiță în nisip și apoi o acoperise, în semn că îngropase acolo perfecțiunea acelei clipe. Era ca un strop de argint în care-ți scufundai și iluminai întunecimea trecutului.”

“Là-bas, sous les racines, parmi les fleurs corrompues, des bouffées d'odeurs mortes s'exhalaient; des gouttes se formaient sur le flanc gonflé et pustuleux des choses. La peau des fruits pourris crevait, et du pus trop épais pour couler suintait de la fissure. Les limaces laissaient derrière elles des sécrétions jaunes, et parfois, ça et là, un corps informe rampait avec une tête à chaque bout. Les oiseaux aux yeux d'or s'élançaient sous les feuilles et contemplaient ironiquement cette purulence, cette moiteur. De temps en temps, ils plongeaient sauvagement la pointe de leur bec dans ce gluant mélange.”

“She had thought of literature all these years (her seclusion, her rank, her sex must be her excuse) as something wild as the wind, hot as fire, swift as lightning; something errant, incalculable, abrupt, and behold, literature was an elderly gentleman in a grey suit talking about duchesses… Orlando then came to the conclusion (opening half-a-dozen books)…that it would be impolitic in the extreme to wrap a ten-pound note round the sugar tongs when Miss Christina Rossetti came to tea…next (here were half-a-dozen invitations to celebrate centenaries by dining) that literature since it all these dinners must be growing very corpulent; next (she was invited to a score of lectures on the Influence of this upon that; the Classical revival; the Romantic survival, and other titles of the same engaging kind) that literature since it listened to all these lectures must be growing very dry; next (here she attended a reception given by a peeress) that literature since it wore all those fur tippets must be growing very respectable; next (here she visited Carlyle’s sound-proof room at Chelsea) that genius since it needed all this coddling must be growing very delicate…”

“A real razão continua inescrutável - a leitura nos dá prazer. É um prazer complexo e um prazer difícil; varia de época para época e de livro para livro. Mas ele é suficiente. Na verdade, o prazer é tão grande que não se pode ter dúvidas de que sem ele o mundo seria um lugar muito diferente e muito inferior ao que é. Ler mudou, muda e continuará mudando o mundo.”

“When, however, one reads of a witch being ducked, of a woman possessed by devils, of a wise woman selling herbs, or even of a very remarkable man who had a mother, then I think we are on the track of a lost novelist, a suppressed poet, of some mute and inglorious Jane Austen, some Emily Bronte who dashed her brains out on the moor or mopped and mowed about the highways crazed with the torture that her gift had put her to. Indeed, I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.”

“Arranquei do calendário os dias de Maio e de Junho, disse Susan, e vinte e dois dias de Julho. Arranquei-os e amarfanhei-os, e por isso já só existem como um peso no meu coração. São dias mutilados, como borboletas nocturnas com as asas arrancadas, incapazes de voar. Já só faltam oito dias. Dentro de oito dias, descerei do comboio e ficarei parada no cais às seis e vinte e cinco. A minha liberdade vai então desabrochar, fazendo estalar todas as obrigações que me tolhem e diminuem — os horários, a ordem, a disciplina, o ter de estar aqui e ali a horas certas. O dia explodirá de brilho quando eu abrir a porta e vir o meu pai com o seu velho chapéu e as polainas. Vou tremer. Romper em lágrimas. Depois, na manhã seguinte, levanto-me de madrugada. Saio pela porta da cozinha. Irei pelo paul, ouvindo trovejar atrás de mim os grandes cavalos montados por fantasmas que de súbito se detêm. Verei a andorinha roçando a erva. Vou atirar-me para um banco junto ao rio e ficar a ver os peixes deslizando entre os juncos. Terei nas palmas das mãos as marcas das agulhas dos pinheiros. Então poderei desdobrar e examinar com atenção tudo o que aqui nasceu em mim, qualquer coisa de duro. Porque alguma coisa cresceu dentro de mim, através do Inverno e do Verão, dos dormitórios e escadarias. Ao contrário de Jinny não quero ser admirada. Não quero que as pessoas ergam os olhos de admiração quando entro. Quero dar e receber e quero a solidão onde possa desdobrar em paz tudo o que possuo.”

“However, the majority of women are neither harlots nor courtesans; nor do they sit clasping pug dogs to dusty velvet all through the summer afternoon. But what do they do then? and there came to my mind’s eye one of those long streets somewhere south of the river whose infinite rows are innumerably populated. With the eye of the imagination I saw a very ancient lady crossing the street on the arm of a middle-aged woman, her daughter, perhaps, both so respectably booted and furred that their dressing in the afternoon must be a ritual, and the clothes themselves put away in cupboards with camphor, year after year, throughout the summer months. They cross the road when the lamps are being lit (for the dusk is their favourite hour), as they must have done year after year. The elder is close on eighty; but if one asked her what her life has meant to her, she would say that she remembered the streets lit for the battle of Balaclava, or had heard the guns fire in Hyde Park for the birth of King Edward the Seventh. And if one asked her, longing to pin down the moment with date and season, but what were you doing on the fifth of April 1868, or the second of November 1875, she would look vague and say that she could remember nothing. For all the dinners are cooked; the plates and cups washed; the children sent to school and gone out into the world. Nothing remains of it all. All has vanished. No biography or history has a word to say about it. And the novels, without meaning to, inevitably lie. All these infinitely obscure lives remain to be recorded, I said, addressing Mary Carmichael as if she were present; and went on in thought through the streets of London feeling in imagination the pressure of dumbness, the accumulation of unrecorded life, whether from the women at the street corners with their arms akimbo, and the rings embedded in their fat swollen fingers, talking with a gesticulation like the swing of Shakespeare’s words; or from the violet-sellers and match-sellers and old crones stationed under doorways; or from drifting girls whose faces, like waves in sun and cloud, signal the coming of men and women and the flickering lights of shop windows. All that you will have to explore, I said to Mary Carmichael, holding your torch firm in your hand.”

“It seems comfortable to sink down on a sofa in a corner, to look, to listen. Then it happens that two figures standing with their backs against the window appear against the branches of a spreading tree. With a shock of emotion one feels 'There are figures without features robed in beauty'. In the pause that follows while the ripples spread, the girl to whom one should be talking says to herself, 'He is old'. But she is wrong. It is not age; it is that a drop has fallen; another drop. Time has given the arrangement another shake. Out we creep from the arch of the currant leaves, out into a wider world. The true order of things – this is our perpetual illusion – is now apparent. Thus in a moment, in a drawing-room, our life adjusts itself to the majestic march of day across the sky.”

“... it is fatal for anyone who writes to think of their sex. It is fatal to be a man or woman pure and simple; one must be woman-manly or man-womanly. It is fatal for a woman to lay the least stress on any grievance; to plead even with justice any cause; in any way to speak consciously as a woman. And fatal is no figure of speech; for anything written with that conscious bias is doomed to death. It ceases to be fertilized. Brilliant and effective, powerful and masterly, as it may appear for a day or two, it must wither at nightfall; it cannot grow in the minds of others. Some collaboration has to take place in the mind between the woman and the man before the art of creation can be accomplished. Some marriage of opposites has to be consummated. The whole of the mind must lie wide open if we are to get the sense that the writer is communicating his experience with perfect fullness.”

“It's too short,' she said, 'ever so much too short.' Never did anybody look so sad. Bitter and black, half-way down, in the darkness, in the shaft which ran from the sunlight to the depths, perhaps a tear formed; a tear fell; the waters swayed this way and that, received it, and were at rest. Never did anybody look so sad.”

“But everyone remembered; what she loved was this, here, now, in front of her; the fat lady in the cab. Did it matter then, she asked herself, walking towards Bond Street, did it matter that she must inevitably cease completely; all this must go on without her; did she resent it, or did it not become consoling to believe that death ended absolutely? But that somehow in the streets of London, on the ebb and flow of things, here, there, she survived, Peter survived, lived in each other, she being part, she was positive, of the trees at home; of the house there, ugly, rambling all to bits and pieces as it was; part of people she had never met; being laid out like a mist between the people she knew best, who lifted her on their branches as she had seen the trees lift the mist, but it spread ever so far, her life, herself. But what was she dreaming as she looked into Hatchards’ shop window? What was she trying to recover?”

“And yet the bawling voice, the black gown, the tramp of feet on the stone, the mace and the dingy felt hats somehow suggest, better than scarlet and trumpets, that the Commons are taking their seats in their own House to proceed with the business of governing their own country. Vague though our history may be, we somehow feel that we common people won this right centuries ago, and have held it for centuries past, and the mace is our mace and the Speaker is our speaker and we have no need of trumpeters and gold and scarlet to usher our representative into our own House of Commons.”

“But the sight of the two people getting into the taxi and the satisfaction it gave me made me also ask whether there are two sexes in the mind corresponding to the two sexes in the body, and whether they also require to be united in order to get complete satisfaction and happiness? And I went on amateurishly to sketch a plan of the soul so that in each of us two powers preside, one male, one female; and in the man's brain the man predominates over the woman, and in the woman's brain the woman predominates over the man. The normal and comfortable state of being is that when the two live in harmony together, spiritually co-operating. If one is a man, still the woman part of his brain must have effect; and a woman also must have intercourse with the man in her. Coleridge perhaps meant this when he said that a great mind is androgynous. It is when this fusion takes place that the mind is fully fertilized and uses all its faculties. Perhaps a mind that is purely masculine cannot create, any more than a mind that is purely feminine, I thought.”