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Average Quotes

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Average Quotes

“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

PeopleIfsMeanPersonsDoeTwoHumorMotivationalFunnyDeathSoundNumbersStudyAnxietyAverageSarcasticFuneralBetter OffHilariousPublic SpeakingEulogyAverage PersonPresentation SkillsCasketsSpeaking In PublicFear Of DyingFear Of Public Speaking
Author:Jerry Seinfeld
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“And you've actually watched it yourself?' I asked. 'Willingly?' Sure. I had to see it, you know? Besides we should be safe. Only one in twenty viewers actually had a bad reaction. And it was mostly kids who were affected. I mean younger than you guys. I think the average age was about ten.' That made me feel somewhat better. But that was a kid's show,' said Jen. 'Maybe it affects everyone, but not that many adults were watching.' That made me feel less better. I wanted my protective bangs back.”

ThinkingKnowsFeelsShouldMeanMadeSaidShowsKidsAgeWantedGuyTenSafeAdultsTwentiesAverageReactionsAffectedViewersBangsProtective
Author:Scott Westerfeld
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“I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.”

PeopleSoulCharacterSeemsWaterTalentExampleReadySmartFairsRoundsAverageCleverLike MeBreathingSeatsShyFlawsHungModestBeltsRemarksSoul SearchingShortcomingsAdmittingFlairSwirlsDazedSeat BeltsCharacter Flaws
Author:Jeff Lindsay
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“beware the average man the average woman beware their love, their love is average seeks average but there is genius in their hatred there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you to kill anybody not wanting solitude not understanding solitude they will attempt to destroy anything that differs from their own not being able to create art they will not understand art they will consider their failure as creators only as a failure of the world”

MenWorldArtEnoughAbleUnderstandingLove IsGeniusSolitudeHatredAverageCreatorAverage Man
Book:The Pleasures of the Damned: Selected Poems 1951-1993
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“Over the last decade our country has lost an average of 300 farms a week. Large or small, each of those was the lifes work of a real person or family, people who built their lives around a promise and watched it break.”

PeoplePersonsRealCountryLastsLostAnimalBreakWeekPromiseBuiltMiracleAverageDecadesOur CountryFarmsVegetablesReal Person
Book:Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: Our Year of Seasonal Eating
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“We have the whitest kitchens and the most shining bathrooms in the world. But in the lovely white kitchen the average [person] can’t produce a meal fit to eat, and the lovely shining bathroom is mostly a receptacle for deodorants, laxatives, sleeping pills, and the products of that confidence racket called the cosmetic industry. We make the finest packages in the world, Mr Marlowe. The stuff inside is mostly junk." —”

WorldPersonsStuffSleepWhiteProduceProductsIndustryFitShiningAverageLovelyMealsKitchenFinestBathroomPillsPackagesJunkCosmeticsAverage PersonRacketDeodorantSleeping PillsMarlowe
Book:The Lady in the Lake: The Little Sister ; The Long Goodbye ; Playback
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“It is a peculiarity of knitters that they chronically underestimate the amount of time it takes to knit something. Birthday on Saturday? No problem. Socks are small. Never mind that the average sock knit out of sock-weight yarn contains about 17,000 stitches. Never mind that you need two of them. (That's 34,000 stitches, for anybody keeping track.) Socks are only physically small. By stitch count, they are immense.”

NeedsMindTwoProblemAmountWeightAverageTrackImmenseSaturdayUnderestimateNo ProblemSockStitchesHappy BirthdayYarnKnitters
Book:At Knit's End: Meditations for Women Who Knit Too Much
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“Did you know that the average American spends six months of his or her life waiting for red lights to turn green? Six months wasted, waiting for permission to move on. Think of all the other stuff you could do with that time.” I was totally confused. “In the car?” “In your life,” he said.”

ThinkingKnowsSaidLightMovingTurnsStuffWaitingCarMonthsSixRedGreenAverageConfusedPermissionSix MonthsDid You KnowRed Lights
Book:The Complete Jessica Darling Series: Sloppy Firsts, Second Helpings, Charmed Thirds, Fourth Comings, Perfect Fifths
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“Herman slipped his hand into mine, and I thought, An average of seventy-four species become extinct every day, which was one good reason but not the only one to hold someone's hand, and the next thing that happened was we kissed each other, and I found I knew how, and I felt happy and sad in equal parts, because I knew that I was falling in love, but it wasn't with him.”

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Book:The History of Love: A Novel
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“There are signs that the age of petroleum has passed its zenith. Adjusted for inflation, a barrel of crude oil now sells for three times its long-run average. The large western oil companies, which cartellised the industry for much of the 20th century, are now selling more oil than they find, and are thus in the throes of liquidation.”

LongRunningAgeThreeCompanyCenturyIndustrySellsWesternAverageOilSellingBirthdayLong Runs20th CenturyThree TimesInflationCrudeBarrels60th BirthdayOil CompaniesPetroleumZenithCrude OilSelling More
Author:James Buchan
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“And so really, you have given me no choice but to take you shopping by force.” She sighed, then reached up, dropping her sunglasses down from their perch on her head to cover her eyes. “Do you even realize how happy the average teenage girl would be in your shoes? I have a credit card. We’re at the mall. I want to buy you things. It’s like adolescent nirvana.” - Cora”

WantWould BeEyeChoicesGirlGivenForceRealizingShoesAverageCreditCardsShoppingHer EyesTeenageDroppingCredit CardMallsSunglassesTeenage Girl
Author:Sarah Dessen
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“Psycho? The woman's senile. We had to stop at about thirty gas stations on the way over here. Finally I got tired of getting out of the car and showing her which was the Men's and which was the Women's, so I let her pick them herself. I worked out a system. The law of averages. I laid money on her and she came out about fifty-fifty.”

MenWayLawCarPicksTiredAverageThirtyFiftyGasStationsPsychoGas StationsSenileLaw Of Averages
Book:A Confederacy of Dunces
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“Repetition is sometimes the best way to deal with the Luideag: just keep saying the same thing over and over until she gets fed up and gives you what you want. All preschoolers have an instinctive grasp of this concept, but most don’t practice it on immortal water demons. That’s probably why there are so few disembowelments in your average preschool.”

WayWantGivingSometimesWaterDealsPracticeConceptsAverageWhat You WantBest WayDemonImmortalFedsRepetitionFed UpPreschoolSaying The Same Thing Over And Over
Author:Mira Grant
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“For official record, announce instructor, the state requires no epic hero. No strive achieve personal celebrity of spotlight and applause. Lectures instructor, the state desires best ideal perform as mediocre. No gain attention showboat. No buffoon. Best effort so occur average. Suppress climbing ego. Become ordinary. Invisible.”

StatesDesireEffortAttentionRecordsAchieveHeroEgoOrdinaryGainsIdealsStriveAverageInvisibleOfficialsClimbingEpicMediocreLecturesApplauseSpotlightInstructorsBest EffortBuffoons
Author:Chuck Palahniuk
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“And knowing what happens on average is a good place to start. By so doing, we insulate ourselves from the tendency to build our thinking - our daily decisions, our laws, our governance - on exceptions and anomalies rather than on reality”

ThinkingRealityHappensLawDecisionKnowingAverageTendenciesExceptionGovernanceGood PlaceAnomalies
Book:SuperFreakonomics, Illustrated edition: Global Cooling, Patriotic Prostitutes, and Why Suicide Bombers Should Buy Life Insurance
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“Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal as far as other witches are concerned. There's a conflict of dominant personalities. There's a group of ringleaders without a ring. There's the basic unwritten rule of witchcraft, which is 'Don't do what you will, do what I say.' The natural size of a coven is one. Witches only get together when they can't avoid it.”

TogetherSocialNaturalAnimalGroupsPersonalityConflictConcernedAverageSizeRingsWitchDominantWitchcraftGet TogetherUnwrittenUnwritten Rules
Author:Terry Pratchett
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“Curled up at the base of the scales, fast asleep, was the oddest monster I'd seen yet. It had the head of crocodile with a lion's mane. The front half of its body was a lion, but the back end was sleek, brown, and fat - a hippo, I decided. The odd bit was, the animal was tiny - I mean, no larger than an average poodle, which I suppose made him a hippodoodle.”

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Author:Rick Riordan
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“Justin, honey, you were my very first kiss. My very first hand to hold. But you were nothing more than an average guy. And I don't say that to be mean- I don't. There was just something about you that made me need to be your girlfriend to this day I don't know exactly what that was. But it was there.. and it was amazingly strong. -Thirteen Reasons Why”

KnowsNeedsFirstsMeanMadeReasonHandsGuyStrongKissingAverageReason WhyGirlfriendThis DayHoneyThirteenFirst KissJustinYour Girlfriend
Author:Jay Asher
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“Are you suggesting I’m not normal? (Nykyrian) Oh yeah, baby, you ooze normality. From the top of that assassin’s braid to the tip of those boots that I’m pretty sure conceal retractable blades. You’re just an average joe. No doubt about it. Cause, you know, everyone sits for hours doing nothing but typing. (Kiara)”

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Book:Born of Night: The League: Nemesis Rising
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“Can anything be more disgusting than to hear people called 'educated' making small jokes about eating ham, and showing themselves empty of any real knowledge as to the relation of their own social and religious life to the history of the people they think themselves witty in insulting? [...] The best thing that can be said of it is, that it is a sign of the intellectual narrowness—in plain English, the stupidity which is still the average mark of our culture.”

PeopleThinkingSaidStillsRealCultureSocialReligiousStupidEatingIntellectualJokesEmptyMarkRelationAverageWittyStupidityEducatedBest ThingsDisgustingInsultingHamReligious LifeReal KnowledgePlain English
Book:Delphi Complete Works of George Eliot (Illustrated)
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“Mr. Freeman: You are getting better at this, but it's not good enough. This looks like a tree,but it is an average, ordinary, everyday, boring tree. Breathe life into it. Make it bend - trees are flexible, so they don't snap. Scar it, give it a twisted branch - perfect trees don't exist. Nothing is perfect. Flaws are interesting. Be the tree.”

GivingLooksEnoughPerfectInterestingTreeOrdinaryEverydayAverageBoringBreatheGet BetterBranchesFlawsGood EnoughScarFlexibleTwistedSnapsNot Good EnoughFreemanNothing Is Perfect
Book:Speak
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“One of the great tragedies of life, it seems to me, is when a person classifies himself as someone who has no talents or gifts. When, in disgust or discouragement, we allow ourselves to reach depressive levels of despair because of our demeaning self-appraisal, it is a sad day for us and a sad day in the eyes of God. For us to conclude that we have no gifts when we judge ourselves by stature, intelligence, grade-point average, wealth, power, position, or external appearance is not only unfair but unreasonable.”

PersonsSelfSeemsEyeWealthLevelsTalentPositionJudgingDespairTragedyAverageAppearanceGradesDisgustingUnfairUnreasonableDiscouragementStatureDepressiveDemeaningGreat TragedyAppraisalSad DayExternal Appearance
Author:Marvin J. Ashton
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“But we do need a breather. We do need knowledge. And perhaps in a thousand years we might pick smaller cliffs to jump off. The books are to remind us what asses and fools we are. They’re Caesar’s praetorian guard, whispering as the parade roars down the avenue, ‘Remember, Caesar, thou art mortal.’ Most of us can’t rush around, talk to everyone, know all the cities of the world, we haven’t time, money or that many friends. The things you’re looking for, Montag, are in the world, but the only way the average chap will ever see ninety-nine per cent of them is in a book.”

KnowsWorldWayNeedsYearsArtBookMightRememberCitiesHavensFoolThousandPicksAverageNineAssMortalsCentsThousand YearsNinetyCliffsAvenuesWhisperingParadesMany FriendsNinety NineChaps
Book:Fahrenheit 451
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“Be hated. One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself.”

PeopleIfsWorldTryingDoeFactsEvilStrongEasyRolesCasesAverageConvictionHatedSettlingCentreBad PeopleOffending
Author:Adrian Tan
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“It is an old, old adage that if you want someone to do something, get them to believe it is their idea. Humanity is mind controlled and onlyslightly more conscious than your average zombie. Far fetched? No, no. I define mind control as the manipulation of someone's mind so that they think, and therefor act, the way you want them to.”

IfsThinkingWayWantMindBelieveIdeasHumanityConsciousAverageManipulationControlledZombieAdagesMind Control
Book:The Biggest Secret
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“It's Simon. He's missing." "Ah," said Magnus, delicately, "missing what, exactly?" "Missing," Jace repeated, "as in gone, absent, notable for his lack of presence, disappeared." "Maybe he's gone and hidden under something," Magnus suggested. "It can't be easy getting used to being a rat, especially for someone so dim-witted in the first place." "Simon's not dim-witted," Clary protested angrily. "It's true," Jace agreed. "He just looks dim-witted. Really his intelligence is quite average.”

FirstsLooksSaidUsedEasyGoneMissingAverageRatsJaceAbsentNotable
Book:Cassandra Clare: The Mortal Instruments Series (5 books): City of Bones; City of Ashes; City of Glass; City of Fallen Angels, City of Lost Souls
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