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Domestic Violence Quotes

Browse 495 quotes about Domestic Violence.

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Domestic Violence Quotes

“Abuse is a control tactic. It's aim is to break you and make you submit.”

Domestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseToxic PeopleDomestic AbuseToxic RelationshipDomestic TerrorismCoercive ControlIntimate Partner ViolenceDomestic AbuserDomestic Terrorist
Book:Are You In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship? (Special Edition for Men): Patterns of narcissistic abuse in the lives of men and boys.
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“Something snapped," said Madeline. She saw Perry's hand shining back in its graceful, practiced arc. She heard Bonnie's guttural voice. It occurred to her that there were so many levels of evil in the world. Small evils like her own malicious words. Like not inviting a child to a party. Bigger evils like walking out on your wife and newborn baby or sleeping with your child's nanny. And then there was the sort of evil which Madeline had no experience: cruelty in hotel rooms and violence in suburban homes and little girls sold like merchandise, shattering innocent hearts.”

WomenDomestic ViolenceEvil Words
Book:Big Little Lies
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“To the patriachists who insist wives submitting to husbands in all things is great for women because in exchange husbands are to love their wives as Jesus loves and sacrificed himself for the church, you're wrong. “I work and put food on the table” isn’t sacrifice. It’s life as an adult. “I put in time as a coach after a hard day’s work” isn’t sacrifice. It’s life as an adult. “I volunteer at church on top of going to work and coaching kids” isn’t sacrifice. It’s life as an adult. If you’re claiming wives submitting to husbands is great for women because husbands are called to sacrifice themselves, tell me what you’ve done. What sacrifices? Where? How frequent? If you’re a patriarchist but not sacrificing like this, then don’t bring up submission. Ever.”

AbuseSubmitSubmissionDomestic ViolenceWivesHusbands
Author:Denise L Lowe
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“Adult intimate abuse is a process of seduction and coercion, founded on mind-control, by which an abuser establishes and maintains dominance over the partner. Continued abuse is possible, and maintained, by the abusive person's persistent and effective, lying, denying, and re-directing of blame.”

Domestic ViolenceDomestic AbuseCoercive ControlPartner AbuseIntimate Abuse
Book:Steps to Freedom: Escaping Intimate Control
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“I want my girls to know who they are and have strong family connections. I want them to be educated. I want them to travel the world. I want them to be able to support themselves, and if they choose to be in a long-term relationship, it will be based on their strengths, not their weaknesses. And I know that in order for them to get there, it is important that I take more than a surface glance at how I ended up in my unhealthy and unsafe relationship with their father. Only then will I ever have any hope of keeping my history from repeating itself in their future.”

HealingDomestic ViolenceKidnap
Book:Pieces of Me: Rescuing My Kidnapped Daughters
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“No amount of me trying to explain myself was doing any good. I didn't even know what was going on inside of me, so how could I have explained it to them?”

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Book:Debbie.
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“JE: I’ve only seen the follow up film (Fifty Shades Darker [Foley 2017]). While I think I was curious about pornography when I was younger, these days I feel a bit sickened by porn, especially any suggestion of role play that puts women in a subservient role. Not having read the books I feel I can’t really comment but I guess the concern is that the glamour of the novels and films could normalise domestic violence by eroticising it? I found the stalker scenes and the partner rape scenes disturbing and do worry that, the film certainly, presents Grey’s abusive behaviours as sexy. I think it’s important that young women are reminded of the reality in such cases: men who behave like Grey aren’t tamed by love, as the film suggests, on the contrary, that sort of abuse tends to escalate over time.”

LoveDomestic ViolencePornographyBdsmPornPornography Addiction
Author:Justine Ettler
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“It is a rare person who can cut himself off from mediate and immediate relations with others for long spaces of time without undergoing a deterioration in personality.”

PersonalityAbuseMental HealthMental IllnessIsolationDomestic ViolenceDissociationAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsTraumatic ExperiencesTraumatizedComplex PtsdAbusive ParentsAbused ChildrenPersonality DisorderEffects Of Child AbuseSocial IsolationStructural DissociationInterpersonal TraumaPersonality ChangeInterpersonal Partner Violence
Book:The Interpersonal Theory of Psychiatry
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“Often after work, I wander aimlessly around the city. I sit in bars and look at women's faces, searching for a piece of myself. I want to return to a different home, a home where he isn't. I guzzle champagne and savour the bravado and false hope it gives me. The bars eventually close and it's time to stagger back to Cell 208, where my lover awaits me, with clenched fist and gritted teeth.”

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Book:Don't Hit Me!
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“We live in a world in which women are battered and are unable to flee from the men who beat them, although their door is theoretically standing wide open. One out of every four women becomes a victim of severe violence. One out of every two will be confronted by sexual harassment over her lifetime. These crimes are everywhere and can take place behind any front door in the country, every day, and barely elicit much more than a shrug of the shoulders and superficial dismay.”

CrimeDomestic ViolenceRapeSexual AssaultSociety DenialBatteredSexual ViolenceBattered WomenIntimate Partner ViolenceBatterers
Book:3,096 Days
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“Truth: Rape does indeed happen between girlfriend and boyfriend, husband and wife. Men who force their girlfriends or wives into having sex are committing rape, period. The laws are blurry, and in some countries marital rape is legal. But it still is rape.”

Domestic ViolenceRapeSexual AssaultDomestic AbuseRape CultureRape MythsIntimate Partner ViolenceMarital RapeDate RapeCoercive ActsIpvRape ConvictionsTeenage Dating
Book:Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse
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“Acts of psychological abuse include berating or humiliating the victim; interrogating the victim; restricting the victim's ability to come and go freely; obstructing the victim's access to assistance (e.g., law enforcement; legal, protective, or medical resources); threatening the victim with physical harm or sexual assault; harming, or threatening to harm, people or things that the victim cares about; unwarranted restriction of the victim's access to or use of economic resources; isolating the victim from family, friends, or social support resources; stalking the victim; and trying to make the victim think that he or she is crazy.”

Domestic ViolencePsychological AbuseIntimate Partner Violence
Book:DSM-5 Guidebook: The Essential Companion to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
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“The danger of tolerating any hurtful behavior is that it can all too quickly become the norm. If we allow ourselves to "get away" with anything we know to be destructive - such as slapping a child or partner in the face - without taking responsibility for the gravity of what we have done, we are that much more likely to minimize the offense: "I may have overreacted, but she's got to learn not to set me off like that." . . . "because the partner is perceived as the cause of the violence, the perpetrator feels justified in using it." Once the actions are justified, they are more likely to be repeated. It is also important to remember that, in most relationships, both parties engage in some form of the abuses listed above. Angry remarks or mildly aggressive actions - insulting someone's intelligence, throwing a plate of food against the wall - can both provoke and be used to justify retaliatory actions that may be more dangerous, like pushing and shoving someone down the stairs. On the other hand, one sort of abuse does not necessarily lead to another. Rather, whether or not the violence escalates depends on the person committing it.”

RelationshipsMarriageViolenceArgumentDomestic ViolenceViolence Against WomenAnger ManagementPhysical AbuseIntimate Partner Violence
Book:Violent Partners: A Breakthrough Plan for Ending the Cycle of Abuse
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“He was bad with me too, but it was a little more random. If the phone rang and woke him up, he'd hit me, or if he had plans to go out but had to cancel for snow, he'd knock me around to burn off his anger. I was always looking for the secret code, the rules I could follow so he wouldn't freak out. That's how you keep yourself safe, you know? You pay attention to how the world works. But there was no secret code for him. It was like our actions were entirely detached from his reaction to us.”

Child AbuseDomestic ViolenceDomestic AbuseFathers And SonsUnlovedIntimate Partner ViolenceUnprotected
Book:Beach Read
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“No amount of logic can usually move a battered woman, so persuasion requires emotional leverage, not statistics or moral arguments. . . .I have seen their fear and resistance firsthand . . . I believe it is critical for a woman to view staying as a choice, for only then can leaving be viewed as a choice and an option.”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceIntimate Partner Violence
Book:The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence
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“The confusion of love with abuse is what allows abusers who kill their partners to make the absurd claim that they were driven by the depths of their loving feelings. The news media regrettably often accept the aggressors’ view of these acts, describing them as “crimes of passion.” But what could more thoroughly prove that a man did not love his partner? If a mother were to kill one of her children, would we ever accept the claim that she did it because she was overwhelmed by how much she cared? Not for an instant. Nor should we. Genuine love means respecting the humanity of the other person, wanting what is best for him or her, and supporting the other person’s self-esteem and independence. This kind of love is incompatible with abuse and coercion.”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceAbusive RelationshipsAbusive MenAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“ALCOHOL HAS NO BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION TO ABUSE OR VIOLENCE Alcohol does not directly make people belligerent, aggressive, or violent. There is evidence that certain chemicals can cause violent behavior — anabolic steroids, for example, or crack cocaine — but alcohol is not among them. In the human body, alcohol is actually a depressant, a substance that rarely causes aggression. Marijuana similarly has no biological action connected to abusiveness.”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceSubstance AbuseAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“A man’s beliefs about the effects of the substance will largely be borne out. If he believes that alcohol can make him aggressive, it will, as research has shown. On the other hand, if he doesn’t attribute violence-causing powers to substances, he is unlikely to become aggressive even when severely intoxicated.”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceSubstance AbuseAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“When a man’s face contorts in bitterness and hatred, he looks a little insane. When his mood changes from elated to assaultive in the time it takes to turn around, his mental stability seems open to question. When he accuses his partner of plotting to harm him, he seems paranoid. It is no wonder that the partner of an abusive man would come to suspect that he was mentally ill. Yet the great majority of my clients over the years have been psychologically “normal.” Their minds work logically; they understand cause and effect; they don’t hallucinate. Their perceptions of most life circumstances are reasonably accurate. They get good reports at work; they do well in school or training programs; and no one other than their partners—and children—thinks that there is anything wrong with them. Their value system is unhealthy, not their psychology.”

AbuseMental HealthDomestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseDomestic AbusePhysical AbuseAbusive RelationshipsVerbal AbuseAbusive MenAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“There certainly are some women who treat their male partners badly, berating them, calling them names, attempting to control them. The negative impact on these men’s lives can be considerable. But do we see men whose self-esteem is gradually destroyed through this process? Do we see men whose progress in school or in their careers grinds to a halt because of the constant criticism and undermining? Where are the men whose partners are forcing them to have unwanted sex? Where are the men who are fleeing to shelters in fear for their lives? How about the ones who try to get to a phone to call for help, but the women block their way or cut the line? The reason we don’t generally see these men is simple: They’re rare. I don’t question how embarrassing it would be for a man to come forward and admit that a woman is abusing him. But don’t underestimate how humiliated a woman feels when she reveals abuse; women crave dignity just as much as men do. If shame stopped people from coming forward, no one would tell.”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsPhysical AbuseAbusive RelationshipsVerbal AbuseAbused WomenAbusive MenAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“When we hear these kinds of excuses from a drunk, we assume they are exactly that—excuses. We don’t consider an active alcoholic a reliable source of insight. So why should we let an angry and controlling man be the authority on partner abuse?”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceDomestic AbuseAlcoholicAbusive MenAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“The detective assigned to my case told me that restraining orders turn to work out one of two ways—either the paper is good enough to scare off your abuser, or they double down and never stop unless they are thrown in jail. Unsurprisingly, Mine turned out to be the latter type, using the restraining order itself as an excuse to market his crusade against me to entirely new hate groups online.”

MisogynyDomestic ViolenceHarassmentTrollingOnline AbuseHate GroupsRestraining Order
Book:Crash Override: How Gamergate (Nearly) Destroyed My Life, and How We Can Win the Fight Against Online Hate
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