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Funny Political Quotes

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Funny Political Quotes

“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.”

“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.”

“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.”

Believe Funny Culture President Boys Politician Greed Corruption Sarcasm Sarcastic Carpe Diem Presidents Day Funny Sarcastic Funny Political Politics Funny Funny Politician

Author:Clarence Darrow

“REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.”

Law Opinion Learning Vote Nonsense Legislation Submission Public Opinion Proposal Referendums Funny Political Popular Vote

Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

Source: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.”

Persons Funny Lasts Political Jesus Baby Republican Comedian Homeless Funny Political Baby Jesus

Author:Andy Borowitz

“Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'”

Bigs Government Funny Next Answers Comedian Mars Next Time Big Government Funny Political

Author:Andy Borowitz

“All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.”

Funny Independence Passing Passings Comedian Mourning Declaration Mourn Declaration Of Independence Founding Fathers Democracy Funny Political

Author:Andy Borowitz

“As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.”

Believe Funny Understanding President Evolution Politician Republican Don't Believe Comedian Romney Stupid People Abraham Narrow-minded Ignorant People Funny Political Theodore

Author:Andy Borowitz

“On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.”

People Government Funny Political Celebrate Comedian Corporations Usa Satire 4th Of July July Anniversary Funny Political July 4 Anti Government

Author:Andy Borowitz

“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.”

Would Be School Funny Political Politics Money Nice Needed Right Now Spending Billions Advertising Comedian Ads Being Nice Funny Political Anti Political

Author:Andy Borowitz

“Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.”

Funny Secret Roles Congress Comedian Usa Legislature Furious Secret Service Funny Political

Author:Andy Borowitz

“Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.”

Running Funny Political President Politician Republican Decided Quitting Comedian Palin Funny Political Career Politicians

Author:Andy Borowitz

“Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.”

Funny Lasts Political Week Fool Republican Excited Comedian Candidates Stupid People Moron Funny Political

Author:Andy Borowitz

“In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.”

Wells Funny Politics Air Politician Noise Mexico Lenses Funny Political Politics Funny Funny Politician Air Conditioner

Author:Len Deighton

“Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side”

Giving Sides Willing Careful Consideration Sarcastic Both Sides Funny Sarcastic Funny Political Broadmindedness Anti Liberal

Author:Thomas Sowell

“I see light at the end of the tunnel.”

Source: Russia and China Under Communism

“You can't say 'I don't do politics,' because silence is a political statement.”

Political Silence Statements Silence Is Funny Political

Author:Tariq Ramadan

“A businessman cannot force you to buy his product; if he makes a mistake, he suffers the consequences; if he fails, he takes the loss. If bureaucrat makes a mistake, you suffer the consequences; if he fails, he passes the loss on to you.”

Ifs Suffering Mistake Consequence Businessman Deep Thought Bureaucrats Wise Women Funny Political

Author:Ayn Rand

“You could not possibly maintain the current level of government taxation without the taxes being hidden, and they are hidden in two very different ways. They are hidden through withholding, but they are also hidden by being imposed on business, supposedly on business, when really, of course, business can't pay taxes, only people can pay taxes.”

People Way Two Different Government Courses Levels Pay Taxes Currents Different Ways Taxation Withholding Funny Political

Author:Milton Friedman

“I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.”

Thinking Should America Political Party Republican Bottom Republican Party Funny Political Republicanism Anti Political Barnacles

Book:Tallulah: My Autobiography

Source: Tallulah: My Autobiography

“I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.”