Best humorous & atheist Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.”

Christian Fun Born Humorous Profound Atheist Insane Cows Hunting Scope Born Again Rifles Dairy Dairy Cows

“I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.”

“It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

Source: Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark

“All great truths begin as blasphemies.”

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.”

Firsts Religion Girl Religious Atheism Conflict Humorous Atheist Witty Agnostic Religious Conflict

Author:Woody Allen

“If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”

Ifs Philosophy Turns Atheism Worst Humorous Atheist Witty Metaphysics Agnostic There Is No God Atheistic If There Is A God Love And Death There Being No God Love Death Funny Atheist Daily Atheist

Author:Woody Allen

“I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't... Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.”

“If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.”

People Ifs Today Asks Jesus Fun Christ Atheism Humorous Jesus Christ Atheist Dinner

Author:Thomas Carlyle

“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”

People Believe Funny Religion Power Comedy Atheism Authority Humorous Atheist Witty Comedian Pope Stupid People Organized Religion Humorists Greatest Atheist

Book:The Best of Brain Droppings

Source: The Best of Brain Droppings

“An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.”

Men Mean Funny Religion Support Atheism Humorous Profound Atheist Invisible Insane Agnostic There Is No God If There Is A God Anti Religious There Being No God Funny Atheist Daily Atheist

Author:John Buchan

“Political correctness is tyranny with manners.”

Funny Political Powerful Liberty Humorous Atheist Witty Libertarian Tyranny Manners Sarcastic Political Correctness Correctness Politically Correct

Author:Charlton Heston

“I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.”

Thinking Life Believe Whole Would Be Heaven Hell Atheism Humorous Profound Don't Believe Atheist Whole Life Insane Bored Torture Boredom Afterlife Heaven And Hell Heaven Or Hell Heaven Hell

Author:Isaac Asimov

“To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.”

Enough Religion Powerful Atheism Ego Judgment Humorous Conscience Atheist Witty Famous Motivational

Author:Charles Stubbs

“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.”

Ifs Giving Humor Funny Names Money Clear Humorous Give Me Atheist Witty Skepticism Banking Bankers Atheistic Deposits Funny Money Swiss

Author:Woody Allen

“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”

Inspirational Trying God Funny Findings Humorous Atheist Witty Sunday Agnostic There Is No God Side Effects Plumber There Being No God God Is Not Great Sex Without Love

Author:Woody Allen

“If a person wants to be atheistic it's his God-given right to be an atheist.”

Ifs Want Persons Given Humorous Profound Atheist Insane Atheistic

Author:Mike Patton

“I think; therefore I am.”

Thinking Inspirational Atheism Humorous Atheist Intelligence Famous Inspirational

Book:Discourse on the Method: Discourse On the Method of Rightly Conducting the Reason, and Seeking Truth In the Sciences (Beloved Books Edition)

Source: Discourse on the Method: Discourse On the Method of Rightly Conducting the Reason, and Seeking Truth In the Sciences (Beloved Books Edition)

“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.”

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