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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. What! no soap? So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots.”

LittlesGamesCuttingStreetsBearsMarriedHumorousGardenDiedRoundsPopsRanApplesShopsBootsHeelsPieButtonsLeafsSoapCabbageGunpowderBarbersApple Pie
Author:Samuel Foote
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“The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.”

MindMadeEyeFunnyBeliefBearsHumorousBreathsRevengeHis EyesVisibleNecksShakesDreadAuntNephewPrawns
Book:Novels
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“The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.”

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Book:Mark Twain’s Letters & Speeches (Annotated Edition)
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“We don't know when our name came into being or how some distant ancestor acquired it. We don't understand our name at all, we don't know its history and yet we bear it with exalted fidelity, we merge with it, we like it, we are ridiculously proud of it as if we had thought it up ourselves in a moment of brilliant inspiration.”

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Author:Milan Kundera
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