Home / Topics / Humorous Quotes

Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”

“If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.”

People Ifs Today Asks Jesus Fun Christ Atheism Humorous Jesus Christ Atheist Dinner

Author:Thomas Carlyle

“If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.”

“There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.”

Two Girl Difficult Wall Kissing Speech Humorous Dinner Two Things Climbing Public Speaking Away From You Leaning In Speaking In Public Kissing A Girl

Author:Winston Churchill

“I promised myself that if ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner. This is the only resolution of my youth that I have kept, and the only realized ambition which has not brought disillusion.”

Ifs Funny Youth Ambition Humorous Dinner Each Day Smoking Resolution Lunch Cigar Disillusion Smoking Cigars

Author:W. Somerset Maugham

“After a truly good meal, an outstanding cigar is still the most satisfying after-dinner activity that doesn't involve two human beings.”

Humans Stills Two Funny Human Beings Activity Humorous Dinner Good Meals Smoking Satisfying Outstanding Cigar Smoking Cigars Good Meals Cuban Cigars

Author:Brad Shaw

“Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with.”

Humor Hands Funny Trouble Food Humorous Gun Dinner Boards Airline Air Travel Musk

Book:The World According to Dave Barry

Source: The World According to Dave Barry