“The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.” PersonsCountryProblemRunningFormEnergyAnimalMiddleHumorousScientistBillsCancerOilEnormousDepartmentSandEtcCowsRatsEasternLaboratoryDinosaursRaccoonsBulldozers Author:Dave Barry
“Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.” MenBoysMiddleHumorousAgingMaturityMiddle AgedBirthday Humor Author:Kin Hubbard
“Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!” YearsHumorFunnyOrderMiddleHumorousCriticismLet MeCriticsIsraelOilEastSpotsDesertMiddle EastIsraeliMosesOil Industry Author:Golda Meir
“One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it's such a nice change from being young.” AgeFunnyYoungNiceMiddleHumorousAgingThings ChangeMiddle AgesInspirational BirthdayAge Of 4040th Birthday Author:Dorothy Canfield Fisher
“It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.” HumorFunnyMiddleStrangeHumorousLibraryStaringAeroplanes Author:Tommy Cooper
“When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.” IfsFunnyNamesWorkPoorClassRichMiddleBuildingMusicianHumorousWittyComedianShirtsMiddle ClassIronicDesksFunny Work Author:Rich Hall
“Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.” HomeRealityAgeFunnyNightMiddleHumorousSittingWittyRingsBirthdaySundayWeekendSaturdayTelephonesFridayMiddle AgesSaturday NightSaturday And Sunday Author:Ogden Nash
“For those who believe in the quote, Laughter is the best medicine and are looking for a divorce quote on the lighter side, the following divorce sayings range from mildly humorous to outrageously funny: Men are just like a book - with a beginning, middle and an end.” MenBelieveBookEndsSidesMiddleLaughterHumorousMedicineFollowingDivorceRangeLightersLaughter Is The Best MedicineFunny MenLighter Side Author:Pamela Anderson
“I will tell you this: I will not raise taxes on the middle-class to pay for these programs.” PayClassMiddleStupidTaxesHumorousProgramRaisesMiddle Class Author:William J. Clinton
“There, in the middle of this mall is the Washington Monument, 555 feet high. But if we put a one in front of that 555 feet, we get 1555, the year that our first fathers landed on the shores of Jamestown, Virginia as slaves.” IfsYearsFirstsFatherFeetMiddleFrontsStupidHumorousSlaveShoreMonumentVirginiaMallsJamestownWashington Monument Author:Louis Farrakhan