Home / Topics / Humorous Quotes

Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“My own dear love, he is strong and bold And he cares not what comes after. His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, And his eyes are lit with laughter. He is jubilant as a flag unfurled - Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him. My own dear love, he is all my world - And I wish I'd never met him.”

World Eye Care Girl Strong Wish My Own Forget Sweet Mets Laughter Humorous Gold Dear Rings His Eyes Flags Lit Chimes Forget Him Dear Love

Book:Not So Deep as a Well

Source: Not So Deep as a Well

“From my own personal encounters and studies with both Tantric and Zen Buddhist monks, I have found them to be humorous, warm, charming, and compassionate.”

Found My Own Study Humorous Warm Buddhist Encounters Compassionate Charming Monk Cosmology Buddhist Monk Zen Buddhist

Author:Frederick Lenz

“"Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"”

Said Funny Spirit My Own Missing Bears Equal Humorous Excellent Shaking Grudge

Book:Dombey and Son

Source: Dombey and Son

“Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.”

“I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.”

Enough My Own Succeed Humorous Witty Ugly

Author:Woody Allen

“I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”

Thinking Real Funny Form My Own Opinion Humorous Very Good Witty Patriotism Sarcastic Moron

Author:George Carlin

“I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.”

I Can Dream My Own Fiction Psychology Humorous Witty Sarcastic Metaphysics Biographies

Author:Mae West

“I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his”

Giving Feels Nature My Own Views Humorous Method Sarcasm Beetles

Book:The Stark Munro Letters

Source: The Stark Munro Letters

“I went to school, majored in theatre, and said 'Mom, I have to choose my own destiny. I want to be an actor.' A couple of weeks after I graduated college I called my mother up and said 'Can I borrow $200?' and she said 'Why don't you act like you've got $200.'”

Want Said School Funny Mother Actors My Own Acting Destiny Week College Like You Mom Couple Humorous Theatre

Author:Arsenio Hall

“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”

Life Funny Used My Own Trouble Humorous Sells Witty Silly Furniture Hilarious Funny Business Funny Work Hilarious Short

Author:Les Dawson

“I'd rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort.”

Men Funny Together My Own Effort Humorous Rely Working Together Teamwork

Author:J. Paul Getty

“Throughout most of my life, I raised tobacco. I want you to know that my own hands, all of my life, I put in the plant beds and transferred it! I hoed it! I've dug in it! I've sprayed it! I've chopped it! I've shredded it, spiked it, put it in the barn and stripped it and sold it!”

Knows Want Hands My Own Stupid Bed Humorous Plant Raised I Want You Tobacco Barns

Author:Al Gore