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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'”

Men Should Said Enough Helping Funny Law Mother Saws Six Humorous Neighbour In-laws Kicking Mother In Law Punching Kicking It

Author:Les Dawson

“Not enough gets said about the importance of abandoning crap.”

Said Enough Funny Humour Humorous Importance Abandon Crap Funny Sarcastic

Author:Ira Glass

“Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last six years?’ And I said, ‘None.’ He then asked, ‘Who sold you on that plan?’”

Years Said Funny Lasts Money Plans Mets Six Humorous Asking Entrepreneur Investment Investing Financial Saved Planning Mentor Saving Money Financial Independence

Author:Jim Rohn

“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.”

Inspirational Said Done Humorous Nothingness Embarrassing Life And Love

Author:Sam Ewing

“As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."”

Ifs Said Stories Humor Funny Past Worry Food Type Humorous Window Planes Sat Bob Jet Airline Obsolete Aircraft Colonels Air Travel Swapping

Author:Bob Hope

“Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, "And let there be aluminum siding." Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.”

Ifs Men Made Said Ideas God Humor Funny Courses Sound Church Tree Worship Humorous Golf Climbing Golf Course Worship God Aluminum Siding

Book:I'm Not Really Here

Source: I'm Not Really Here

“The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."”

Knows Said Humor Funny America Party Republican Humorous Democrat

Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

Source: Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government