Quotessence
Home / Topics / Humorous Quotes

Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Related topics

FunnyWittyHumorIfsMenPeopleInspirationalKnowsThinkingSarcasticLifeStupidChildrenWayWantInsaneProfoundShouldFirstsPowerfulAmericaSaidGivingWorldTwoSarcasmYearsSexLaughterWellsGodBookKidsAgeWritingLongMadeComedyFoodMeanTryingBabyComedianLittlesLoveMayLooksMindNamesPoliticalMarriageRepublicanAirlineDemocratDrinkingFactsHumansParentingPersonsDoeNeedsThreeBeerEnglandHandsHilariousMusicNew YorkAir TravelEnoughI CanIdeasPartyPoliticsStillsFunny LifeKindBelieveDoctorsDrinkHas BeensProblemWarFunInspirationRussiaDiesJapanNextPhonesSchoolStatesYoungCountryFeelsHelpingLastsLawyerMightMoneymore

Humorous Quotes

“All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?”

IfsUseBigsPurposeHouseJusticeDecisionStreetsExampleWallCostTaxesPaperHumorousRainCourtPossessionNewspapersSupremeChiefsCorporationsRelatedWhat IfJournalSupreme CourtBurgersLandmarksBig CorporationsDepreciateWall Street JournalChief JusticeBusiness Related
Author:Dave Barry
Create image

“Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document. So even if you owe money, you can put in for an enormous refund and the agent will probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit. What does he care? It's not his money.”

IfsWantGivingDoeCareHoursReturnTaxesHumorousDollarsTechniqueEnormousAgentsSweatMailDocumentsAccountingOverlookedIrsTax ReturnsArmpitsRefundsDoes He Care
Author:Dave Barry
Create image

“I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.”

PeopleIfsKnowsFeelsRealGovernmentFunnyReligionChurchPayKnow HowPolicyOughtHolyTaxesHumorousSickCatholicWittyDebtSarcasticEstatesWipeCatholic ChurchHow You FeelAdmissionPublic PolicyOrganized ReligionPay The PriceNational Debt
Book:Napalm & Silly Putty
Create image