Best jokes & littles Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 2

“Some comics don't like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I'm going to do.”

People Littles Doe Bits Little Bit Jokes Annoying

Author:Gabriel Iglesias

“When you get off stage, the audience should know a little bit about you. Not where you are from, but how you see the world. And that's the difference between like a Chris Rock joke, and like an open-miker.”

Knows World Should Littles Bits Differences Audience Rocks Stage Little Bit Jokes Where You Are

Author:Iliza Shlesinger

“The place that I worked I used to joke about it. There was a, every morning at 10:30 I'd come into work and I'd go into this cubicle that had a little upright piano and fake white cork bricks on the wall, and a little slate that came out of the wall that you could actually write on. And a door that locked from the outside. Every day from 10 to 6, we'd go in there and pretend that we were 13 year old girls and write these songs. That was the gig.”

Writing Years Littles Used Song Girl White Morning Doors Wall Jokes Piano Fake Locked Every Morning Bricks Gigs Slate Cork Cubicles

Author:Al Kooper

“I really wouldn't censor myself. But because it was on such a slower scale, I would throw things out, and I indulged the personal stuff as little flashes of truth. Little in-jokes for anyone who was paying particular attention.”

Littles Stuff Attention Particular Jokes Scales Flash Personal Stuff

Author:John Hodgman

“I was photographing the photographer Brassaï. He had very prominent eyes, like a frog's. As I focused my lens, he brought his hand up and pretended to focus his eye. It was a joke, but it added mystery to the picture. There's a sense of action in a very small world. Or with Allen Ginsberg there were people smoking cigarettes and in the smoke there's a sense of motion. It makes much out of very little.”

People World Littles Hands Eye Action Focus Mystery Jokes Photographer Focused Smoke His Eyes Smoking Cigarette Lenses Frogs Prominent Hands Up Smoking Cigarettes Small World Ginsberg

Author:John Loengard

“"What a joke: Tiny living entities crawling on a little planet and are thinking, "I am Great". "”

Thinking Littles Planets Jokes Tiny Entity Crawling

Author:Radhanath Swami

“Sometimes I joke around that if I weren't a musician, I would be a power lifter. I don't think people expect it from me because I'm little.”

People Ifs Thinking Littles Sometimes Would Be Musician Jokes

Author:Mirah

“I did it a little bit in college, but now I've been doing it more. But yeah, it's not, I think you can definitely have a sense of humour about it. Like a lot of the time I'll finish my set with 'Sandstorm' by Darude - do you know that song? That's a funny song. People also go apeshit when you play it. But at the same time, it's not like the whole thing is a joke.”

People Thinking Knows Littles Play Whole Song Bits College Humour Little Bit Jokes Yeah Do You Know Sandstorms Funny Song

Author:Chris Baio

“What sort of difficulties would happen when people of different cultures try to come together to worship? Tiny little things such as let's tell jokes with each other.”

People Trying Littles Different Happens Together Culture Worship Jokes Difficulty Tiny Little Things Different Cultures

Author:Michael Emerson

“Humor is so culturally based that when I try to tell a joke as me being a white American, if I tell other white Americans, they'll laugh. If I tell an African American, they might not laugh. In fact, they either might not find it funny, or they might find it offensive, and I didn't mean it to be offensive. So these are the sort of little things that build up over time, just like in a marriage. You know, the little things can build up over time.”

Ifs Knows Trying Mean Littles Facts Might White Laughing Jokes African American Little Things Offensive

Author:Michael Emerson

“Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.”

Needs Littles Sometimes Jokes Breaths Fixed

Author:Sarah Silverman

“When someone new comes on and has their first nude scene - and even if it's not full nudity - it's always a weird, awkward setup. We have these famous merkins which are sort of toupees for your delicate areas to make it look like you're naked but cover you up a little bit. But we joke around a little bit with the newbies who are trying that stuff on for the first time.”

Ifs Trying Firsts Looks Littles Stuff Bits Like You Scene Little Bit Jokes First Time Areas Naked Over You Delicate Awkward Nudity Setups

Author:Deborah Ann Woll

“The worst was I had little control in terms of smoothing out my questions and making myself look good the way I could in print. All the ums and uhs and rambling and apologies and hyenalike laughter at something that really isn't funny. You know when an artist will crack a joke, and you're like, "That's so hilarious," like, the fawning laughter that you can at least cut when it's print? It's just all out there, and it's really humiliating.”

Knows Way Looks Littles Artist Term Cutting Worst Laughter Jokes Print Cracks Apology Humiliating Rambling

Author:Jancee Dunn

“Women are not children. We are not fragile little birds who can't cope with jokes, works of art, or controversial speakers.”

Children Littles Art Jokes Bird Works Of Art Fragile Speakers Controversial

Author:Christina Hoff Sommers

“I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.”

People Want Firsts Littles Persons Different Happens Hours Jokes Curious Topics

Author:Brad Williams

“Self-indulgence takes many forms. A man may be self-indulgent in speech, in touch, in sight. From self-indulgence a man comes to idle speech and worldly talk, to buffoonery and cracking indecent jokes. There is self-indulgence in touching without necessity, making mocking signs with the hands, pushing for a place, snatching up something for oneself, approaching someone else shamelessly. All these things come from not having the fear of God in the soul and from these a man comes little by little to perfect contempt.”

Men May Littles Soul Self Hands Christian Form Perfect Speech Jokes Sight Oneself Pushing Orthodox Touching Contempt Idle Worldly Indulgence Self Indulgence Self Indulgent

Author:Dorotheus of Gaza

“My memoirs are full of humor, I had to change jokes because it was a little too dark.”

Littles Dark Jokes Memoir

Author:Marina Abramovic

“[J.F Kennedy] was a congressman and a senator and he would go on to be president. I had that idea as a little boy, and I used to joke to people but nobody told me that his father was ambassador to England and that he was a war hero, and he was, you know.”

People Knows Littles Ideas War Used Father President Boys Goes On Hero Jokes England Senators Little Boys Ambassadors Congressman War Hero

Author:Mike Pence

“I want to get that same feeling that everybody logging on to our website is sharing a little bit of an inside joke, and the rest of the world is oblivious to it although I want to have most of the world.”

World Want Littles Feelings Bits Little Bit Jokes Website Oblivious Logging Inside Jokes

Author:Stan Lee

“With stand-up, there's a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.”

Littles Reality Bits Comedy Little Bit Jokes Exaggerated

Author:Chris Hardwick

“To me, nudity is a joke. I don't think nude people are very attractive at all. I like my women fully clothed. I like to imagine what might be under there. It might not be the standard thing. Imagine, stripping a woman down, and she has a body like a little submarine. With periscope, propellers, torpedoes. That would be the one for me. I'd marry her right off and be faithful to the end.”

People Thinking Littles Ends Body Might Would Be Imagine Standards Jokes Down And Faithful Attractive Nudity Being Faithful Stripping Submarines One For Me Torpedoes Propeller

Author:Charles Bukowski

“Italians have a little joke, that the world is so hard a man must have two fathers to look after him, and that's why they have godfathers.”

Men World Looks Littles Two Hard Father Jokes

Book:The Godfather

Source: The Godfather

“Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.”

Ifs Men Trying Littles Sometimes Sports Sin Answers Company Drink Jokes Devil Conscience Drinking Temptation Beer Spite Nonsense Merry Trifles Short Beer

Author:Martin Luther

“How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones?”

Littles God Atheism Jokes Humorous Positive Atheism Almighty

Book:The Complete Dramatic Works of Samuel Beckett

Source: The Complete Dramatic Works of Samuel Beckett

“Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes, his carefully cut widow's peak and, not least, his ridiculous accent that grew thicker or thinner depending on who he was talking to, did not look like a threat. He looked funny, a joke, a music-hall vampire. It had never previously occurred to Vimes that, just possibly, the joke was on other people.”

People Looks Littles Black Talking Cutting Grew Jokes Red Threat Shoes Ridiculous Vampire Pockets Halls Opera Accents Gears Widows Cloaks Fussy Music Hall

Author:Terry Pratchett

“Don't worry, Mrs. Colder. For the most part, we keep him leashed and gagged. We only let him free when the cute little animal jokes are needed. ~Sherra Callahan (on Kane Tyler)~”

Littles Animal Worry Needed Jokes Cute

Author:Lora Leigh

“The joke's on them. One little hypodermic wont' be enough. Split a piece of wood, and they'll find me. Lift up a stone, and they'll find me. Look in the mirror, and they'll find me...If you really want to know what makes someone a killer, ask yourself what would make you do it.”

Ifs Knows Want Looks Littles Enough Asks Pieces Jokes Stones Mirrors Woods Lifts Killers Splits Find Me

Book:Change of Heart: A Novel

Source: Change of Heart: A Novel

“I can’t be sure, of course, but I’d compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. - Edward Cullen”

Littles I Can Courses Jokes Compare Vegetarian Milk Living On Tofu Soy Inside Jokes Soy Milk

Author:Stephenie Meyer

“We each get fifteen minutes before the Gamemakers to amaze them with our skills, but I don't know what any of us might have to show them. There's a lot of kidding about it at lunch. What we might do. Sing, dance, strip, tell jokes. Mags, who i can understand a little better now, decides she's just going to take a nap.”

Knows Littles I Can Shows Might Minutes Skills Jokes Lunch Fifteen Naps Better Now Mags

Author:Suzanne Collins

“… that sour blend of loneliness and lust for recognition, shyness and extravagance, deep insecurity and self-intoxicated egomania, that drives poets and writers out of their rooms to seek each other out, to rub shoulders with one another, bully, joke, condescend, feel each other, lay a hand on a shoulder or an arm round a waist, to chat and argue with little nudges, to spy a little, sniff out what is cooking in other pots, flatter, disagree, collude, be right, take offence, apologise, make amends, avoid each other, and seek each other’s company again.”

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