“Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.” WorldHas BeensHumorFunnyGivenSportsMorningPlayerJudgingSkillsOkayUltimateYeahAlcoholRingsChampionToneBeing The BestPotChampionshipPillsBanjosMorning AfterFrisbeeTasersBanjo PlayersJudge Judy Author:Dave Attell
“When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely"... It's a basic skill isn't it.” WritingSaidHomeHumorFunnyLeftForgetSkillsMumUnlikely Author:Tim Vine
“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'” MenWantInspirationalHumorFunnyWomenStudySkillsPostsComedianAmusingFunny RelationshipDuhFunny Comedian Author:Conan O'Brien
“My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.” HumorFunnyLyingReadingAbilityEffortSkillsDrinkingNegotiationTrue Strength Book:Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Source: Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea