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Famous Eddie Izzard Quotes
“If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.”
“Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.”
“If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.”
“They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'”
“I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.”
“They say the Universe started with a big bang. I hope everybody stood well back.”
“Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.”
“Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?”
“I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.”
“What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?”
“Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey.”
“We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!”
“You're gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books.”
“The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats.”